Satan thinks His followers should vote leftist

The Devil has asked your humble demon to emphasize that Satan is entirely unconcerned with politics Himself, firstly because He is the undisputed ruler of Hell and has no intention of changing seats, and secondly because, after all, Hell is for the non-elect. At best, Satan rejects the notion that people get the politicians they deserve, because He finds it improper to hold sensible individuals accountable for herd actions that these individuals played no part in. However, He strongly believes that whenever someone benefits or suffers from the results of the politics that person voted for, it is fully deserved. Colored people who vote for white-supremacy politicans deserve to be victims of racism; major business owners who vote for socialist politicians deserve to have their businesses nationalized; and average-income people who vote for capitalist politicians deserve to be fleeced. No-one should be protected against their own stupidity.

However, the Devil looks after his own, and thinks that His followers should never vote according to any ideology—whether that be nationalist, religious, or otherwise mystical—that requires moral precepts about actions and opinions to be upheld in order to be a good citizen who altruistically votes according to what he or she believes is best for Society. The Devil’s prospective denizens should instead each consider carefully what provides themselves with the greatest benefits, political pipe-dreams be damned, if you will excuse your simple demon the possible inappropriateness of that word. It is this self-interest that prompts the Great Beast to propose that it would behoove most of His followers on the left hand path to keep left in a political context, too. The prospective follower needs not consider himself or herself to be red (red suits will be required to enter the Second Circle of Hell, however), and may in fact feel anything but solidarity with those who are traditionally left-wing, so my Ungodliness has asked me to elaborate.

In all human interactions, Satan believes that might is right. Of course, being an educated and intelligent gentleman, He does not believe in the pseudo-scientific notion that “strong” people, who have won a fight for power, will beget similarly strong children, nor does He believe that the principle that might is right implies that one should accept and succumb to any balance of power. “Might is right” is the realization that power is not merely a question of brawns but instead the phenomenon that right and wrong is defined by those empowered to do so, and that power is the continuous struggle for this position: those who gain power gain whichever rights that power enables. Hence, Satan thinks that those who fight for interests that conflict with those of His followers should never obtain the power to do so. Satan wants to reduce any right defined by the moral, financial, or legal systems of his opponents unless it happens to coincide with those of His followers, and similarly supports any legislation that supports His followers regardless of its formal reason.

Satan has no romantic dreams about humans living as if one with Nature (and, may I interject, He also has some personal issues with this paradisical concept after a certain deity made Paradise forever lost to my Master) and humans have no biologically or divinely imposed obligations towards other animals, human or otherwise. As a species, you human beings behave like any other animal: you exploit the planet’s resources as best as you can. You destroy the very source of your existence, and wishing to change this in order to survive does not make or require you to be a tree-hugger. Satan thinks it is a self-preservation instinct to keep an environmentally-friendly agenda.

And when some group of people is trapped because of conservative initiatives, the Devil objects to their suffering, but not because Satan has any feelings for the victims. He simply understands that such a government has exactly the same sentiments towards any of His followers, any of whom will soon find themselves in hot water once the government sets is eyes upon them. In that case, each of these followers can soon relate to human suffering and human mistreatment, because they will be those very humans. There is not a shred of bleeding-heart liberal feelings in this view; it is egoism, and any egoistic person should know that egoistic goals are often best met through cooperation and effective (if not necessarily earnest) solidarity.

Satan hopes that His followers are self-interested and just want to be well off. Granted, their self-gratification is a multi-dimensional equation with countless compromises that involve both biological, environmental, and parental imperatives, and is under constant development. They will work for their gratification to the extent that their day job is not exceedingly uninteresting or demanding and thus ungratifying. They will sacrifice some of their immediate desires in the interest of their family because it benefits them in the long run. Their actions are characterized by an adaptation to what will provide both short term and long term benefits within certain margins. But His followers have wishes. They want more money, safety on the streets, a society of knowledge and development, food without dangerous additives, the ability to get around, leisure time, etc.

This is where leftism becomes relevant. It is a left-leaning government that will benefit most of the Devil’s followers. What little His best-off followers might cash in on tax reductions for the rich will be paid back with liberal interest added thereunto, either as user charge or lost opportunities. A few hundred tax dollars saved per year is nothing compared to the methodical destruction of educational institutions for the followers who have offspring, their problem soon becoming the problem of His followers—just to name one example. If public transportation is starved or fares increase for drop-off locations father from the destinations, highway congestions will increase with you and your car in the thick of it. A measly few tens of dollars saved on the tax returns is a sorry compensation for major inconveniences.

Standing shoulder to shoulder with various groups of Society is a tactical move which does not require nor imply feelings of solidarity. The Devil asks that you, His followers, cease your infights over minor disagreements and instead ally and resist those who divide and conquer. You may not be an immigrant, a homosexual, a threatened species, a marginalized citizen, an ethnic minority, a child, in need of medical care, or a natural resort. Satan welcomes all of the above but you should realize that most of you are not part of the economy cult which gladly sacrifices any group on the altar of capitalism, and if capitalists are willing to sacrifice the aforementioned groups, then they will sacrifice you, too.

Satan thinks the relationship between you and your employer involves a fundamental disagreement between the ratio of work and compensation. You have opposing financial interests, and it is in your best interest to have a strong trade union that works to secure you against your employer. It would be down-right self-destructive to support an establishment that supports the interests of the employers against the interests of its employees, such as fighting trade unions or by providing discount trade unions whose goal is to make money and not have their members’ interests in mind. Satan could not care less about the success of a trade union, and would never ask His followers to care either, but He thinks His followers have an obvious rational interest in solidarity with trade unions that work to strengthen His followers, regardless of their feelings. A large membership base provides a trade union with the power to fight for whichever is an advantage to its members.

Nature is taking damage, and it will also become costly to compete for the remaining resources. Satan doubts that His followers wish to pay for that, and thinks His followers should prefer to repair the system before it is either too late or has become ruinously expensive. Satan has no romantic dreams of woodland lakes or species that “deserve” to be sustained but thinks any of His followers will benefit from a preservation of the ecosystems.

Satan is by no means recognizably “red,” regardless of what Medieval frescos may otherwise suggest, and does not ask His followers to be socialists either. The Horned One insists that none of this discussion involves “feeling solidary” with one issue or group or another; it only matters to understand that it is beneficial to ally with people who already work for a distribution of power that favors His followers. Satan thinks His followers should not worry if they happen to support people whom they disagree with on a variety of issues as long as those people will fight for a cause that also happens to benefit His followers. It should be of no concern if that makes others think that the follower is a socialist. Hopefully none of Satan’s followers, who refer to themselves as Satanists, are that afraid of being associated with the dreaded “S” (socialist) word.

Satan asks each of His followers to pursue their own self-interest, and that includes the tactical realization that there are more white-belts out there than one can safely wave a stick at. Unison begets power, and the Devil’s followers should unite with whoever provide them with power. Satan thinks it is beneficial to vote leftist whether you feel for it or not.