Vengeance

In His dealings with His minions and followers, the Devil employs the simple strategy of tit for tat. Satan thinks that treating people exactly as they treat you is a surprisingly effective strategy for convincing them that you are evil incarnate. Moreover, it is a highly effective game-theory mechanism that outperforms virtually all contenders while also being the simplest of them all—although perhaps not as simple the strategy of always turning the other cheek which however suffers the severe drawback of being disastrously inferior to them all.

For the uninitiated, the tit for tat strategy means “equivalent retaliation” (although not desiring to wait for hostile action before taking revenge, the Devil often implements preemptive retaliation instead) where you replicate your opponent’s previous action: if your opponent was helpful, you cooperate whereas if your opponent was uncooperative, then so are you. The strategy becomes highly cooperative once your opponents follow (other) strategies involving cooperation as long as you stick to your tit for tat principles and begin with being cooperative in situations where you must take the initiative. This is not to say that Satan thinks you should strictly bother no-one and destroy them if they bother you. It means you should apply the Balance Factor when you reward or punish and tip the scales of Balance slightly by offering a gift in any initial move.

The simplicity of the tit for tat strategy avoids lengthy records and statistics of past behavior; it suffices to merely recall someone’s last action. But although Satan thinks that most people could easily be replaced with mindless automatons following simple scripts, real life is subject to somewhat more complicated rules than are usually set in game theory competitions. There are variably delayed rewards and punishments, drawbacks to some cooperative or punitive actions (you can only quit so many jobs in a short while until it damages your resume, for example), and people who play tit for tat but whose cooperation is harmful or vice versa, just to name a few issues.

In these modern days of lawyers, bankers, and accountants, Satan thinks His followers should think in terms of book-keeping. Relations with others—employers, spouses, strangers, groups—can be thought of as “transactions” on some checking account using “goodwill” as currency. Satan thinks that one should begin each relationship by opening a goodwill checking account and immediately deposit some amount of goodwill on it. The other party is then free to deposit or withdraw goodwill through his or her actions. You, on the other hand, behave as if your “opponent” (who is your collaborator in a mutual tit for tat arrangement), too, maintains a goodwill account, so make prudent withdrawals and deposits on their accounts as well, according to the tit for tat principle.

The key is to cut your losses and terminate the relationship once your goodwill account is overdrawn. The initial amount that you deposited serves as your initial “gift” to the other party and as a buffer amount that safeguards young relationships from minor misunderstandings. Never make an initial deposit worth more than you can afford to lose: invest too much, and you risk becoming prey to a psychic vampire who keeps drawing on your goodwill while giving very little in return.