Satan thinks tall membership fees create cultists

The painful transition rituals where young males are initiated into manhood that have been practiced by a variety of indigenous tribes often strike developed countries as unnecessarily and irrationally brutal. Yet, developed countries feature a long array of similar initiation rituals in various communities.

New army recruits have until recently been (and in some places still are) put through painful or humiliating “baptisms” at the hands of their lower-level superiors or dragged through demanding boot camps. College and university campuses have a tradition for similarly degrading or torturing new members of their fraternities during what Satan considers the alluringly named “Hell Weeks.” Some lines of work have traditionally welcomed new apprentices with humiliating events. Laws have been penned to prevent this phenomenon but seemingly without success.

The specific contents of such rituals are invariably kept secret to the prospective initiates, who usually know no more than rumors that they will be expected to endure an unpleasant experience. This helps explain why they are willing to accept an “formal initiation” but mostly one can expect them to accept the initiations as the price they must pay for their membership of the elite. However, as will be explained shortly, this conclusion is mere post-rationalization.

The presence of such initiation rites across the world in primitive and advanced societies alike throughout history affirms that they are motivated by the psyche of the human animal. Satan would have preferred to think that humans have an innate knack for being evil but alternative psychological explanations exist. Firstly, human herd mentality compels you to flock together. The survival of the specimens is contingent on their keeping their group together, and social dynamics ensue, including all sorts of often seemingly peculiar social behavior.

Secondly, the human mind cannot grasp its own irrationality. Nobody believes he or she acts randomly without cause: everything is rationalized, even self-harm, and no-one is evil just for the Hell of it (except our Infernal Lordship, but that goes without saying). If a person has acted uncontrollably irrationally, the person may fell all kinds of regret or guilt afterwards but can readily justify the behavior; if nothing else, then because he or she “must have felt for it” in the moment. In much less extreme situations, any seemingly irrational act, especially when performed consciously and deliberately, will be interpreted as having meaning and a purpose, and must make sense.

Satan thinks that this is in part what makes religious rituals and ceremonies so effective. Their irrational components of impossible narratives and symbolic acting and decoration serve to envelop the participants’ minds in irrationality that their minds will afterwards interpret as somehow true even if this “truth” is none the sort. The nonsense of the rituals and the ceremonies force the participants to think there is sense where there is none.

The newly minted Phi Beta Kappa member who now puts her clothes back on after receiving humiliating jeers and physical violations is still dazed but her mind is already rationalizing the abuse as the gateway to her new social position. Why was she put through it, but more importantly, why did she accept it, the mind inquires, and provides the reassuring answer: it was not a price to be paid but a requirement and an integral part of the membership, and an accolade to have endured. Nothing less is required of next semester’s initiates, demands the brain, which refuses to acknowledge that it would otherwise have been meaningless and refuses to admit the absurdity of the situation.

The psychological principle of social proof also plays in. Initiation rituals are usually formed on groups of initiates, who look to each other for clues on how to react during the mistreatment, and in a collective bystander effect where all are victims they remain passive. Any nonconformist dissidence will immediately be subjected to peer pressure. Social proof also fosters group cohesion by creating a social bond from the shared experience. It fortifies group loyalty, and as a rule of thumb, the worse the abuse the more loyal the initiates become towards the social group that admitted them, because the rationalizing brain interprets the tougher abuse as proportionally more meaningful.

Faced with irrationality, the rationalizing brain turns logic upside-down. It turns the abuse from unreasonable misdeeds into proof that the membership is important and worthwhile, and that the group is unique and desirable.

Loyalty may be gained with less than downright torture, as much as Old Nick hates to admit it. The scarcity principle of both economics and social psychology can play tricks on the mind, too, and may be utilized to keep a person to behaving with consistency. A high price tag on an item provides social proof of scarcity, and the buyer of at item that turns out to have been far too costly will post-rationalize the buying impulse and invariably conclude that the purchase made sense. In fact, a buyer is likely to attribute more value to an expensive item when if it is proven to have been available at a more competitive price, and will like the item more. The buyer may understand that he was unlucky, inattentive, or even conned, but his brain will reassure him that the item must then have been that more valuable to him. Being obviously cheated only reinforces this belief. It is hard enough to admit to others that one was duped but to the core brain such a thought is beyond guilt or shame; it is unthinkable, and the brain will defend the decision beyond the point of being ridiculous.

You will believe you can tell the audible difference with your expensive and literally gold-plated wires for your stereo set although no electronic measurement equipment can detect the change, and the overpriced, tasteless vase that you purchased on the street market from a clearly dubious seller somehow remains sitting on the table.

All this insight into the mentality of the human herd animal made Satan think of one of His churches, specifically The Church of Satan and its membership fee. In its early days, entry fees were paid to attend Anton LaVey’s lectures in his home but after a little less than a decade the organization instead admitted members for a fee. Satan does not remember off-hand if the amount was originally particularly high but in the 1980s it had become the official stance of The Church of Satan that the amount was set somewhat high to ensure that only sufficiently motivated and/or successful (to whom the amount was inconsequential) people would join and stand as a deterrent to anyone else.

Mr. Scratch has not doubt that a little greediness may have influenced the amount but otherwise trusts that His organization speaks the truth on this matter and (regrettably) does not suspect any nefarious undertones. Its membership fee is $225 as of this writing, and appears to be steep enough to often cause would-be members to seek advice on raising the money and rarely a follower of the Evil One to consider it pocket change.

For those to whom $225 feels like a personal financial sacrifice, or even becomes one, the deep impression in their bank account reminds them that they must have made an important and thoughtful decision. It strengthens their belief that The Church of Satan provides them with peers that are more intelligent, more interesting, or more desirable to meet more than had they merely paid the production costs, shipping, and a minor processing fee for their little red membership card. A tall amount instead makes them exhibit loyalty to their organization, which deserved the money, in order to suppress the skeptical mention from others that perhaps they were had. Not once has Satan encountered a member of The Church of Satan, whether current or former, who spoke of the membership fee as too expensive. In fact, if one were to pay any less, it would be a token of insincerity! The latter sentiment is regularly observed when members of The Church of Satan belittle The Satanic Temple for its much lower, and dare one even mention free membership options.

The tall membership fee of The Church of Satan utilizes herd mentality to purchase the faithfulness of its members for their own money. Their monetary oblations to the organization helps instill a cult-like behavior of unquestioned devotion.

Satan thinks water should be prevented from finding its own level

The Devil has been aware for quite a while that one of His churches ranks stratification as the foundation of its so-called five-point program, which ostensibly contains the goals of the organization. In the words of its founder, Anton LaVey, water should be allowed to find its own level with no attempt to mandate its flow. People are not equal, and allowance for incompetence should be prevented from interfering in human life, because according to Mr. LaVey, this benefits the weak at the expense of the strong.

Satan always enjoys a good phrase that communicates a simple solution to a complex and compound issue. Such childish optimism and joyful obliviousness of the nature of a difficult problem always brings a smile to the Dark Lord’s face, or at least a sardonic smirk. It seems somehow intuitively true that the entire world would become a better place if everyone was allowed to develop into their true selves—a universal Maslowian paradise of self-actualizing indiviuals, no less. It seems almost too good to be true, and as common sense would caution, it is.

The analogy can be taken a little further without being drawn too far; in the present case one may realize that left to its own devices every particle of water ultimately goes downhill not up, and that only violent manipulation can make it temporarily rise. Water that is allowed to seek its own level with no natural or artificial dams, dikes, redirections, or pumps to force its flow and keep it in motion will settle and turn stagnant. The natural flow of water is in the direction of mediocrity.

Satan is confident that LaVey realized this and only desired an abolishment of the control systems in those areas where he believed to be personally unfairly limited, and would eagerly restrict the options for anyone who happened to have conflicting goals. He did specifically address apologists of mediocrity after all, and was undoubtedly in favor of draconian measures against those whom he felt held him back. This sentiment naturally impresses the Prince of Darkness, but playing the Devil’s advocate for a moment, Satan cannot help but compare the attitude with the motto of the eternal underachiever: they would have recognized my genius had they not preferred mediocrity. In Anton LaVey’s case, his proficiency in music and visual arts reached the level of a skilled hobbyist, and his intellectual insights into the nature of mankind would be met with overbearing smiles from any modern day philosopher, anthropologist, psychologist, or sociologist.

The Devil does not hold this against Mr. LaVey, who has now joined us in Hell and is busy being tormented with an unobtainable doppelgänger of Jayne Mansfield (who, incidentally, is also among us, but in a different department). Mediocrity depends on context and is not to be confused with a sweeping average across the entire population. One group of people may have standards which interpret mediocrity far above or below the potential of another group. (Considering the creative and intellectual level that Satan has observed among the members of the “mutual admiration society” of Anton LaVey’s legacy, Satan is confident that Mr. LaVey remains the one-eyed king of the blind.) Anton LaVey was at the very least aware that mediocrity is not going away in the near future, and saw no other solution than isolationism, with space ghettos as the only viable answer.

Now, Satan is not certain whether Anton LaVey had been watching Flash Gordon too self-identifyingly given his striking similarity with Ming the Merciless of said space opera or if LaVey had merely given the solution inadequate consideration, because it is impossible for a self-sustaining human society to exist without a highly diverse set of skills.

This finally provides a key insight: everyone is mediocre in all but maybe a few respects. A brain surgeon is layman in the field of rocket science, the rocket scientist is layman in most fields that do not involve space satellites, and both are laymen plumbers. You are for the vast part mediocre. Mediocrity will not disappear. Any “mutual appreciation society” on some distant moon colony may admire each others’ specific competences all they like, but everyone must be excused for being mediocre on virtually all accounts—and thus mediocrity is inevasibly apologized. This apology violates Anton LaVeys cardinal formula for a better world, but unless it is granted, it is tantamount to equipping each human being with an original sin with no redemption or escape, simply for being human. It is a pipe-dream to believe that mediocrity can be averted save by death or by withdrawing to the insanity of a mind that has closed itself against the reality of the world.

Satan is not convinced that space ghettos will ever be created save for research purposes and expects that even in the best case scenario the exodus will be reserved for those who currently can afford to own private islands in the tropics. There is no salvation waiting in the sky for the Devil’s followers, because none of them will find themselves entitled to an interstellar den. The Devil does not personally care. His Infernal Majesty is content as long as the planets contain a Hell and orbiting or traveling space stations include a section below deck that is decorated with brimstone, sulphorous lakes, and molten rock.

Mediocrity thus being the rule that describes each and everyone of you humans, and space ghettos solving nothing (if ever they be constructed), Satan thinks that one’s opinion on the merits of mediocrity is utterly pointless. The question is how to deal with it right here, and right now.

Everyone is mediocre, and the only immediate reaction that makes sense is the ultimate apology in the shape of a complete recognition and acceptance of this fact of human life and interaction. Satan is inclined to say that humans apologize too little for their shortcomings when they act as if just one proficiency entitles them to an opinion on matters that lie beyond their comprehension, or when they bully people with genuine skill out of their positions. The only proper reaction to such pretentiousness is to understand that everyone is naturally apologized for mediocrity and then move anyone who speaks outside of his or her skill areas out of focus—by force, if necessary.

Satan thinks it is through the acknowledment that all humans are mediocre and excel in very limited areas only that corrective action may be taken to place people of skill into their various areas of expertise, and to prevent people from meddling in those affairs where they know as little as everyone else. This cannot be left to laissez faire governance. One might, for example, assume that some social media playform will regulate itself according to likes and dislikes and eventually reach a desired level, but nothing could be further from the truth … unless the desired level is the lowest common denominator where only mediocrity reigns. Instead, the needed regulation requires heavy interference from people who dare to acknowledge when a person is operating outside of one of his or her fields of incompetence. It is the very opposite of allowing water to find its own level. Water that finds its own level is the deluge that washes away landmarks and distinctions and eventually becomes stale and rotten. Water that is carefully controlled and protected as necessary as a valuable resource, however, is a powerful tool.

Satan thinks people who strive to be nice usually aren’t

For all our awe and admiration of The Infernal Majesty’s insights and intelligence, The Dark Lord has insisted on several occasions that a little barstool psychology can go a long way.

The unfortunate ex-demon whose skepticism prompted it to ask for an example was immediately obliterated for daring to question our Master, but the Devil posthumously humored it and asked us who happened to be present what characterizes a “nice person.” We soon agreed that a nice person was nothing like Satan, and although our Master appreciated our sentiment, He had doubtlessly given it a little more thought than He had let on, and slightly impatiently explained Himself.

Satan thinks that truly nice people generally do not try to meet an ideal of “niceness,” even if they can easily formulate such an ideal or identify historical or mythical individuals who may serve as role models. The key to their nice behavior—being considerate of others, being helpful, etc.—is that they act according to an innate comprehension that humans are better off by working together. They ultimately serve their own interests but as a species not as specimens. Therein, says Satan, lies the difference between self-interest and self-preservation versus egoism, the former benefitting the human race and the latter benefitting oneself but in the very short term only. It is not required to “love one another.” There are some who deserve love, and some who deserve none. Satan thinks that genuine niceness involves a sense of justice that urges you to give and take from each what they naturally deserve.

It is people who are only admirable by obligation that Satan thinks ill of. They are people who have been instructed by word but not through example to be loving, friendly, and helpful as this ostensible acting makes them believe they are better people and have earned the right to feel entitled. They are people who do good not because they feel somehow compelled but from concern with what their neighbors would think. They are people who help others only for the sake of their personal salvation not because of the needs of others. They know right from wrong and good from evil only because they have it memorized. They invariably see themselves as good; even when they observe ill traits within themselves, they believe themselves superior because they consciously combat their true nature.

Satan may prefer deed to creed and thus appreciate that such people play nice after all, but the King of Lies is no fool. He knows that people exercise their true nature whenever their self-discipline is momentarily disengaged. A person who is not innately “good” but merely puts on an act (even if they believe in it themselves) is certain to eventually place a dagger in your back, speak ill of you, cheat on you, or betray you, and they will blame you, my friend, because knowing that they are your morally superior it cannot possibly be their fault; if they behaved poorly, you forced their hand. Satan advises to beware of martyrs in particular, as they think they do ever good but never understand that the perpetual source of their punishments is their own poisonous personality.

Such individuals are a terrible race, but Satan thinks that applied barstool psychology is useful to pinpoint these foul creatures of the human world. It is quite simple according to Satan: barstool psychology stipulates that you speak of your most prominent failures as if you are their conqueror. For example, when John Doe of forty brags about his many sexual conquests, you should bet your money that he is both still a virgin and has a tiny pecker. Extending this principle to moral inclination, expect people who speak of being devoted to a movement that does good to be none the part. If they had no problem being “good,” they would focus on something else. Hence, anyone who subscribes to a doctrine of good should be expected to be lacking in that very department.

It goes without saying that the Devil advises His followers to steer clear of the followers of His mortal foe—Christians, that is—but He thinks the caution should be extended to anyone who was brought up in a Christian home where one was demanded to “do good” for no heart-felt reason. Religions are codifications of group behavior (using symbolic language), and it is reasonable to include sanctions against dissocial behavior within this code, but merely following the code does not assure sanity. Satan thinks that no sane human being needs religion to behave properly, and that religion is in fact partially a sign that people lack this skill. The latter is beyond this discussion, however, as yours truly has a job to do torturing lost souls. Suffice to say that Satan is not fooled by people who declare themselves neither atheists nor Satanists if they grew up in a Christian home: He expects them to be as vile as their parents.