Satan thinks His followers should use goodwill accounts

In His dealings with His minions and followers, the Devil employs the simple strategy of tit for tat. Satan thinks that treating people exactly as they treat you is a surprisingly effective strategy for convincing them that you are evil incarnate. Moreover, it is a highly effective game-theory mechanism that outperforms virtually all contenders while also being the simplest of them all—although perhaps not as simple the strategy of always turning the other cheek which however suffers the severe drawback of being disastrously inferior to them all.

For the uninitiated, the tit for tat strategy means “equivalent retaliation” (although not desiring to wait for hostile action before taking revenge, the Devil often implements preemptive retaliation instead) where you replicate your opponent’s previous action: if your opponent was helpful, you cooperate whereas if your opponent was uncooperative, then so are you. The strategy becomes highly cooperative once your opponents follow (other) strategies involving cooperation as long as you stick to your tit for tat principles and begin with being cooperative in situations where you must take the initiative. This is not to say that Satan thinks you should strictly bother no-one and destroy them if they bother you. It means you should apply the Balance Factor when you reward or punish and tip the scales of Balance slightly by offering a gift in any initial move.

The simplicity of the tit for tat strategy avoids lengthy records and statistics of past behavior; it suffices to merely recall someone’s last action. But although Satan thinks that most people could easily be replaced with mindless automatons following simple scripts, real life is subject to somewhat more complicated rules than are usually set in game theory competitions. There are variably delayed rewards and punishments, drawbacks to some cooperative or punitive actions (you can only quit so many jobs in a short while until it damages your resume, for example), and people who play tit for tat but whose cooperation is harmful or vice versa, just to name a few issues.

In these modern days of lawyers, bankers, and accountants, Satan thinks His followers should think in terms of book-keeping. Relations with others—employers, spouses, strangers, groups—can be thought of as “transactions” on some checking account using “goodwill” as currency. Satan thinks that one should begin each relationship by opening a goodwill checking account and immediately deposit some amount of goodwill on it. The other party is then free to deposit or withdraw goodwill through his or her actions. You, on the other hand, behave as if your “opponent” (who is your collaborator in a mutual tit for tat arrangement), too, maintains a goodwill account, so make prudent withdrawals and deposits on their accounts as well, according to the tit for tat principle.

The key is to cut your losses and terminate the relationship once your goodwill account is overdrawn. The initial amount that you deposited serves as your initial “gift” to the other party and as a buffer amount that safeguards young relationships from minor misunderstandings. Never make an initial deposit worth more than you can afford to lose: invest too much, and you risk becoming prey to a psychic vampire who keeps drawing on your goodwill while giving very little in return.

Satan thinks the strong should take care of the weak

Satan would like to remind His ask followers not to treat His sermon as gospel when He declared the strong as blessed and the weak as cursed. The Devil said such only to rattle the cages of the less enlightened of His latent followers in the part of the world where He held said sermon: those who were raised to be Christians and still harbored the illusion that Christianity somehow favors weakness. These followers needed to be forcefully reminded that they should discard such notions immediately. Our Royal Darkness has later confessed that He got somewhat carried away and had rather intended the passage for the considerably smaller number of prospective followers who did indeed require disillusioning but who were also not at the same time stupid.

His Infernal Ruler is keenly aware that the powers that be are always intimately entangled with the dominant religion in any area, and that supremacy rests on a shared ideal among one’s powerful peers that is invariably expressed in religious values. In short, the very followers who read the aforementioned passage in The Satanic Bible should convert to Christianity immediately, and become devoted ones at that in conservative settings, if they desire power, because it is the Christians who are thus blessed.

Yes … there are examples of people who rise to power, glory, and influence in disregard of the established aristocracy. Your humble harrasser (the titulary terms “tormentor” and “accuser” are reserved for my Master) dares to remind you without consulting its Master that the lifetime of a human is but a moment in the realm of the gods and the devils. Such successful people, or at least their immediate descendants, will soon find themselves part of the religously-bound aristocracy if their power manages to survive a single generation.

Satan thinks that His followers should remember to always think of themselves and maintain perspective. It is easy to feel powerful if you have a mere few subordinates, but losers pose a problem on a larger scale and challenge power. There is detailed and perfect stratification in Hell, as we lesser demons of the realm can painfully testify, but among humans living above our fiery abode, losers do not simply vanish into thin air. They keep demanding nourishment and inhabitation, and whatever else rodents seem to require, regardless of how much wealth and power you amass, and moreso the more you amass on their behalf. Starve them of food or land and they will not simple succumb to oblivion and die and magically disappear. Losers, having nothing to lose, will begin to rob you of both once they are bereft of choice.

The Devil’s followers usually subscribe to one of two solutions: either they barricade themselves and arm themselves to their teeth in a perpetual battle against the desperate hordes, or they keep killing them before they become a nuisance. Both options being virtually impossible and verging towards pipe-dreams, Satan thinks they should consider a third alternative, namely to feed the bastards and provide them with living quarters to pacify their desperation. It would be pricey but nowhere as costly as establishing and maintaining a defensive perimeter, and Satan thinks His followers should consider the value of safety that allows them to walk freely anywhere without fearing assaults.

Satan cautions that support not be left to individualized aid and handouts, however, because as Satanically correct as it might seem (for the uninitiated, it means that whoever wishes to provide charity should be allowed to do so without making it mandatory for everyone), such practice fosters a culture where righteousness is faked through paltry alms. It would support philosophies of altruism and run counter to all Satanic ideals. Satan thinks it is better to institutionalize “alms” at a national level through adequate social welfare so that no human can pretend or believe to be “good” for keeping losers alive. Separation of state from religion is contingent on the state taking responsibility for those civic and human duties that are currently being implemented by religious enterprises.