Satan thinks that actions are seldom intrinsically Satanic

Lucifer will usually gladly take credit wherever and whenever He can, considering that He far too often receives undue blame from people who fail to take responsibility for their own actions. Yet, it irks the Devil when His followers proclaim that anything they do is Satanic for no other reason than their being Satanists. His Infernal Majesty does have limits and demands a certain standard of His followers, if ever so modest. He has only disdain for followers who announce that some random act that everyone performs becomes Satanic when they do it.

The logic of my Evil Master is not hard to follow. It suffices to observe the (scientific) principles of identifying contradictory evidence and alternative causation. That is: do others, who identify contradictory, also perform these actions? Does an action that you identify as Satanic become Muslim if performed by a Muslim? Is harming an animal Satanic when a Satanist does it regardless of doctrine? Are you performing an action for other reasons, i.e., you would have done it regardless of your explanation? Would you stop doing it, were you to change your views? Even monsieur LaVey’s speculation of a “third alternative” cannot solve these conundra.

If logic seems difficult, absurdity may suffice. Most of what anyone does, everyone does. It is human nature, not an ideological specialty, to enjoy a steak, pick your nose, have musical and other preferences, take a walk, maintain your hygiene, interact with an animal, and feel misaligned with certain groups. Everyone goes to the bathroom, and “number two” is not the number of the Beast simply because a Satanist assumes the porcelain throne. Anyone may feel that a particular piece of music, for example, has a Satanic appeal, but personal feelings do not constitute objective or general truth, especially not when most others feel differently. Thinking that common nature, or individual taste, is special because you feel special is stupidity at best, solipsism at worse, and narcissism at worst.

Satan thinks that when followers insist that anything they do is inherently Satanic, it is because nothing they do would otherwise be recognizable as such. They are exceptionally unexceptional, and they delude themselves by thinking that their being average is a mean attitude.

Satan demands that, for an action to qualify as Satanic, it must possess a uniqueness that is directly traceable to Satanic idealism (even if this part of the idealism may also be found elsewhere, because, after all, many idealisms share some elements), and must be accompanied by several similarly Satanically unique elements and a corresponding absence of elements specific to incompatible ideologies. Both premises must be satisfied, because otherwise the action is either just “circumstantially Satanic,” or it is too generic to be identifiable by any ideology at all.

Thus no single action is Satanic on its own, or simply because some Satanist takes it. Only a discourse of multiple actions and thoughts combined, and only if aligned with specifically Satanic ideology, is Satanic. Anything else is either un-Satanic or uninteresting—as are they who believe that everything they do is inherently Satanic.