Satan thinks His churchgoers go through five phases

Anton LaVey once said that newly-converted Satanists tend to go through a “first phase” where they feel compelled to tell everyone of their new-found faith, often arguing against Christians using LaVey’s straw men and unschooled reasoning that he provided in The Satanic Bible. Most of Satan’s churchgoers eventually leave this phase when the novelty value wears off, but a considerable number remain stuck in phase one.

LaVey never mentioned any subsequent phases, so no Church of Satan member ever considered whether further progression might occur beyond phase one. Satan thinks these churchgoers proceed through five phases, however, one for each point on the Pentagram.

Phase One is indeed the initial, unbearable behavior of a neophyte where everyone, including anyone past this phase, wishes they would just pipe down. Only fellow Phase One churchgoers can stand them, although most other churchgoers react indulgently as they remember their own Phase One period. As a rule of thumb, the more fervently a person believed in his or her former religion, the more aggressively the Phase One person now behaves, and the longer Phase One lasts. Phase One is characterized by a need to establish one’s new identity by dismantling one’s past identity.

Phase Two is very similar to Phase One, and while many virtually skip this phase altogether, it is, like Phase One, also a phase in which one may get stuck. Phase Two is characterized by the same proselytizing and zealous attitude as Phase One, and Phase Two individuals often increase their combativeness. The main difference is to whom their hostility is directed. Phase Two churchgoers consider it their chief duty to deny all other kinds of Satanism and often actively seek to harm any Satanist who disagrees with The Church of Satan, to the extent of occasionally involving fundamentalist Christians as bedfellows.

Their general proselytization of Phase One now takes on an evangelical “one true way” form where they denounce any other path as that of the Devil, as it were, and Satan thinks that other Satanists are what keeps them active. Phase Two is characterized by low self-esteem where, although having torn down one’s past identity and having constructed the framework of a new one, this identity is very fragile and cannot cope with competition. Satan thinks that those who remain in Phase Two are those whose self-esteem is naturally low and who are easily intimidated but compensate with the vileness of the insecure.

Phase Three marks a significant change, and is a phase where people are not prone to staying indefinitely. In Phase Three, the churchgoers have strengthened their identities enough to reduce the need for inverse behavior and counter-identity. This is when they begin to live according to their concepts of a Satanic lifestyle. Of course, since such a thing is nowhere defined, it becomes mostly a question of decorating one’s home, dressing up with some amount of devilish style, and adjusting one’s physical make-up. Satan thinks that because everyone already indulges in their respective interests (unless they are Buddhist monks or otherwise sworn to an ascetic lifestyle), this is not a Satanic trait—however, His followers believe that when they do what everyone does, in their case it is Satanic. The Phase Three churchgoers do not attend Christian services, of course, but in the absence of Satanic teachings beyond the superficiality of The Satanic Bible and a few articles embedded within other canonized books, most of their opinions and values remain unchanged since their days as pre-Satanists; it is mostly the trappings that have changed, and only on the surface level because their functions remain the same. Phase Three is characterized by a somewhat inflated belief in one’s uniqueness and superiority.

Phase Four represents a return to normal without realizing it. A lifestyle that involves mostly adornments and furnishing and few mental changes, and which is not shared with a nearby community, requires vigilance and constant personal dedication. It is not self-sustaining. (This is why Phase Three does not feature the captivity of Phases One and Two whose motivational supply of counter-ideology and other perceived enemies is infinite.) This leads some churchgoers into a daily routine where they have given up on some of their past religious business but are otherwise indistinguishable from the surrounding society. They remember their Satanism when they are occasionally reminded of it, but it is by no means a pervasive habit. Their interests are largely aligned with those of the herd, as dictated by fashion and popular culture, except where habit survives. Some revive their abandoned traditions to satisfy their need to fit into society. Some will forget about their Satanism although if asked, they may profess to agree with some indistinct core values. Like Phase Three, there is no externally provided motivation to remain in this phase, but unlike Phase Three, Phase Four is effortless, and one may again become stuck indefinitely. A few people maintain their Satanic principles in this phase but “internalize” their Satanism, requiring its trappings only to a small degree if at all.

Phase Four is characterized by regression to one’s pre–Church-of-Satan identity, and is the life that one would have begun earlier were it not for one’s Church of Satan detour. Although this phase may seem like one’s ideology has run into the sand, Satan considers Phase Four almost a litmus test of one’s worthiness of His name: if, after the interest has waned, one keeps living according to Satanic principles, values, and ethics, maybe one is the rare exception that is “born not made,” in the sense that one had integrity from an early age and was never incorporated into the human herd.

Phase Five is the last phase that marks the end of one’s days as a churchgoer. It is where the churchgoer has matured and learned about Satanism and the world. He has questioned himself and the teachings of The Church of Satan and Anton LaVey enough to identify critical flaws, has learned enough about other people to distinguish between unusual and abnormal behavior (only the former possibly qualifies as Satanic), or even to reliably identify a person’s mindset, and has learned enough about society, history, and religion to understand from where people derive their worldviews and values. It has become increasingly clear that what one finds within The Church of Satan is not Satanism but a toxic body of cultural Christians.

Many churchgoers who reach Phase Five realize that their church has changed since the 1960s, of course, but only to satisfy the self-delusions of its membership and to appeal to a lower common denominator. Its counter-cultural spirit left it many years ago, and what remains is an empty shell serving only as housing for one’s pipe dreams and refusal to develop personally. LaVey’s 1960s church was an early experiment which, owing to LaVey’s lacking intellectualism and failing insight into societal affairs and human sciences, was far too narrowly focused and off track due to LaVey’s belief in magic. It applied to his personal social circle perhaps, but it was a crude and secluded imitation of worldly wisdom. LaVey was the yokel’s idea of a man of the world, and as one grows older and wiser, one realizes how ignorant and superficial LaVey was, regardless of one’s early fascination with him. His skill was presentation not content.

Phase Five is characterized by personal growth and inwards and outwards perspective, a broadened horizon, and having found one’s place in the world without needing a group identity.

Satan thinks that LaVey introduced Satanism by scratching at its surface in those few places he could see but never knew what other possibilities he had accidentally opened. By sticking to LaVey’s original doctrine and refusing to develop and revise the ideology for a wider applicability than sexual fetishism, silly “magic,” and exciting edginess, The Church of Satan’s claim to the name is now only historic. Phase Five is where you leave The Church of Satan, either formally or by turning your back on it. You reach this phase if you truly had a different, sane mind about society and your role in it before you even knew about the church in the first place, or were at least able to develop during your time as a churchgoer.

Since each phase corresponds to a point on the star, each of the five phases lies on the opposite side of the previous phase, but not at their complete opposite. From the anti-Christian Phase One, Phase Two is almost anti-Satanic, and the following Phase Three lies closer to the original opposition to a Christianized society. Phase Four, in turn, is rather mainstream where neither Christians nor Satanists matter much and you are equally distant from them. The last phase, Phase Five, is when you have a Satanic identity but realize that far too many Satanists have only their association.

The phases overlap somewhat, and the transition from one phase to the next involves a little of both during the phase shift. It makes it possible to identify when a churchgoer is transitioning from one phase to another, because, owing to the almost-opposite natures of the current phase and its next phase, they may seem to sometimes vacillate. Some churchgoers pass through a particular phase faster than others, to the point of almost skipping it, and some remain stranded in a phase.

Satan thinks He has thus completed Anton LaVey’s use of “phases” as one of the many elements that The Church of Satan keeps dangling.