Month: December 2022

There are times when Satan makes a statement that appears obvious, but we demons who dwell in the abodes of Hell have learned to appreciate His infernal teachings and diabolical insights, and know better than to scoff at outwardly trivial axioms from His mouth. The Prince of Darkness keeps His underlings in a perpetual state of awe with every word He speaks. (Although not nearly in the same state as that of terror which is His primary focus that no one down here is stimulated to doubt for a second; after all, He is the Devil).

Thus, when Satan thinks that God judges, it comes as old news to any of our damned souls who, being tormented cruelly and endlessly by yours truly and collaborators, are painfully aware of their sentences, but it is not our subterranean clientele that Old Scratch has in mind. Satan is the Master of the Earth, and His insight concerns His followers. When Satan says that God judges, He speaks metaphorically because there is no god—a fact that escapes a significant number of His disciples who may rationally grasp that such creatures are the cerebral relics of a brain that evolved to survive in the world but not to understand it, yet cannot fathom a healthy world without God.

Gods are constructed from the blueprint of their creators: Christians do not emulate or obey their god but fashion their god according to their own natures. It is a judging god because Christians are judgmental, and it is a discriminating god because Christians are discriminatory. It is a strict, trying, punishing, doubting, unjust, intolerant, vengeful, and narcissistic god that serves only its own interests and renumerates only its worshipers, because such are its followers, who generally seem bent on inflicting a minority complex on the Devil by outperforming Him on every conceivable evil. Oh, were History to repeat itself, and His Evil Eminence again to confront Jehovah before being cast from Heaven, He would deliver this very accusation to the face of Jehovah and, with the benefit of experience, this time also wear a parachute. It is a little unclear why, considering that Satan wears a fully functional set of wings, Lucifer plummeted to the surface like a lead-encased rock at His legendary fall, but He refuses to share the finer details about the incident, and everyone south of Heaven is too afraid to ask.

In the absence of gods, it is their human inventors and believers who take it upon themselves to ensure that, when the gods do not adequately interfere, the will of their gods is nonetheless enforced. Their followers may not perform miracles of divine creation, but the havoc they often wreak would turn even the most vengeful god green with envy. They feel entitled to mimic the behavior of their gods and are compelled to do it as if their salvation depended on it. Or, more specifically, they create God in their own image and then consider their disgraceful behavior justified. As they discover what a dreadful monster such a representative of their nature is, they proceed to invent the Devil to take the blame.

Satan uses the term “God” as shorthand for the behaviors of Christians in their various abominations, excuse me, denominations. “God judges” is His way to communicate that Christians are recognizable by their exaggerated need to judge others, and lays it upon the shoulders of we lesser demons to explain their motive, as if we did not have better things to do, like prodding the condemned with sharp sticks. As it turns out, we have different views on the underlying reasons but agree that their immoderate judgments serve to create the illusion that they are superior for belonging to the correct cult by deeming anyone else to be worth less. Some of us note that the dynamic exists inside the cults, too, where smaller groups and individuals judge each other in rather toxic environments. It is worth mentioning that although the judgments serve the same ultimate goal of believing oneself to be superior, judgment comes in many forms and is mostly arbitrary: specific political observations, sexuality, gender, race, affiliation or disaffiliation, food preferences, national origin, income, weight, disabilities, age, first language, religion, past actions, education, parental status, etc., as well as combinations, can create the delusion that oneself and one’s peers are congenitally valuable compared with the inferior other, who can therefore be treated as such, unprotected by the laws that serve the chosen people. One’s group is the master, and everyone else is a slave. All it takes to become a master is to accept the arbitrary discriminator and choose the right side, then passionately defend the view; the lower one’s self-esteem, the higher the craving for seeming important and being admired.

There is nothing wrong with a certain level of unbiased judgment where appropriate. The lame should not limit the pace of the race, the blind should not lead the blind, and Americans should not be arbiters of taste. Even a certain amount of unintentional discrimination is permissible provided immediate exemptions can be allowed on an individual basis—stereotypes and associated prejudices are inaccurate and over-generalizing but help the human brain reduce its surroundings to a manageable amount of information. It is when they are applied presumptuously, based on arbitrary qualities, or with disregard for the situation that they are almost invariably invalid.

Satan thinks it is the generally judgmental attitude, not an occasional appraisal or sifting of individuals where warranted, that reveals the followers of God when they show themselves as holier-than-thou, vainglorious bastards with no other credentials than self-deceit and delusions of adequacy and no other accomplishments than joining an echo-chamber club to offer as proof of their self-proclaimed permission to hold opinions about others.

Satan never pretended that His followers were a chosen people or that simply by taking His name for oneself would one’s human caliber grow. That would be a modern variant of the famous allegories of those who traded their souls to the Devil to obtain fame and riches, soon discovering that the comforts they had gained made them no happier, no more satisfied, and no more appreciated and that these desires had been replaced with an emptied sense of self, a hole inside of them where their identity once lived. Satan offers no compensation at all that constitutes a license to judge. It is God who maintains the lie that one is a better person as a believer. Satan thinks if you meet someone who claims to follow the Devil yet passes judgments left and right, especially against other followers outside of his cult, you can bet your soul that this person is still a Christian inside. That is what Satan means when He thinks that God judges—and it is an accusation not a judgment.