Satan thinks it is all fun and games

Satan thinks that Satanism should be all about leading an indulgent life and having fun along the way. He would prefer that this dogma be enforced on all aspects of life but admits that a certain part of life is that of labor and occasional hardship. To ease the path of study to become a dignified disciple of the Devil, Satan has released a board game that is guaranteed to teach His followers both proper etiquette and correct opinions, while having the fun of their lives.

Now available from Hell’s Outhouse Productions, Inc., Satan presents:

True Satanists™

The Board Game Version
– 2 to 4 Players –

The fun new game of narcissistic indiscretion, superficial gratification, and effortless delusions!

Thrill as you forge your self-confidence as a true Satanist while collecting occult merchandise, flinging quotes, setting the record straight, performing diabolical rituals, and impressing your peers. Avoid dangerous pitfalls like “Might is right,” “Woes of Solipsism,” and the “Valley of reality.”

Objective

To be the first player to move your token around the track, collect “Satan Creds,” and navigate through your journey of self-realization.

Pieces

One dice, 4 tokens (Church of Satan Baphomet medallion, inverted cross, picture of LaVey, and Church of Satan membership card), “Satan Creds” point cards, and game board.

Game Play

Each player places his or her token on The Christian Church.

Most Christian player rolls first.

Players roll the dice once on each turn and advance their tokens counterclockwise accordingly. Players must follow instructions included on each square and thereby collect the indicated Satan Creds. If instructed to go forward or back, the player is not required to perform the action on the target square and will not accrue its Satan Creds.

The player to complete the full circle back to The Christian Church first receives an additional 50 Satan Creds.

The second player receives 15, the third 10, and the fourth is a Christian bastard who will never get anything.

Once all players have reached The Christian Church, tally your Satan Creds. The player with the most Satan Creds “wins.” Remember, you can convert your Satan Creds to collectible real-world items in any store that recognizes Satan Creds.