Satan thinks truth should be destroyed

Satan thinks that truth is for mislead people who believe that truth is a goal. Truth is sought after by people who are culturally inculcated to believe that someone, somewhere, knows what is “true,” and that it is the duty of every man and woman to either become this “someone” or work hard to understand through that person what is “true.” Even if they do not formally believe in gods, it is culturally implied that it is “God” who possesses this ultimate truth.

The Devil has no interest in aspiring for His opponent. Satan turns His back on God. He knows that no such “truth” exists. Satan does not desire the truth; He is the eternal liar and it is His corrupt nature to destroy truth.

But truths that have been subjected to the Devil’s perpetual questioning and destruction thoughout the aeons have not become lies; they have only become steadily less wrong as they were forced to adapt. Satan’s stubborn and successful desire to always destroy truth has replaced the word “true” with the term “progressively less wrong.”

It may sound as if my Master inadvertently achieves the goal He wants to avoid but there is a monumental difference between the two terms. “True” is something measured as a distance from some ultimate, fixed goal where the closer something is to this goal the more true it is. “Progressively less wrong” is instead measured from a point of depature. It is a measure of far humans have progressed and how much we have achieved.

“True” is the fear of not being close to God—an angst with no relief because there are no gods. The wish to meet this goal is a death wish, because once the wish is satisfied there is nothing more to strive for. “True” is finality.

To be “progressively less wrong” is to revel in your progress and a perennial desire to move even further. “Progressively less wrong” never ends; all can always change.

The appetite for truth creates rigid social structures because once the truth is believed to have been found there must be no change. Humans think in terms of “right” when they pursue their own “true” ways and actively resist any other direction and oppose discussion and perspectivation.

The desire to be progressively less wrong leads society in new directions. It encourages respect for past knowledge and enthusiasm to contribute with new insights, to lifelong education, and the realization that there is great value to be found in the interaction between individuals with unique viewpoints.

But it is challenging to be “progressively less wrong” instead of “more true.” Many people have preconceptions of what is right and have not the faintest idea of how to turn less wrong. They believe you aim to be second-best in wishing to be less wrong although life itself is a testament to “progressively less wrong” continuously being the best that has yet happened.

To learn what is wrong in a popular “truth,” humans should follow the example of our Infernal Lord. Satan does not believe in false authorities who know in advance what is “true.” Satan has far more respect for people who wish to shatter truth—assuming that these people are not merely motivated by some other “truth.” Satan believes in chaos because He trusts that people can be creative, and He trusts that large groups of people who disagree can nonetheless function together.

To be progressively less wrong demands application of the Devil’s tools: the ability to be critical and to learn from your own and others’ experiments, but also to keep an open mind where deeply controversial thoughts and actions are allowed and where occasionally you must adopt an adversarial viewpoint. The key talent is creativity but our god-fearing culture is suspicious towards this chaotic skill, or has lost faith in it or even forgotten it in its craving for a truth known as maximized profits or financial “responsibility.”

A truth that cannot be destroyed is considered divine and shackles independent thought. To destroy truth, Satan demands discord and squabble, resistance and devastation, and frustration and error. Only thus can truth be destroyed and Mankind be emancipated from God.

Satan thinks His church’s Nine Statements got replaced

The Devil has not paid much attention lately to the membership procedures of His various churches, temples, synagogues, and whichever other chapels, cloisters, cathedrals, and convents have become dedicated to Him. He remembers that in the days before the Internet someone would locate the P. O. Box address of The Church of Satan in San Francisco, submit a membership application together with a cashier’s check for some $50 or $75, and then after several months would receive a cheapskate membership card and become member number 100261. Satan has not investigated how, say, His temple processes its membership applications but expects it to be similar and maybe with a little more expedient interest in its members. Satan does not issue membership cards Himself; He prefers the tried and tested tradition of branding the damned with hot irons when they enter through the gates of Hell.

The Church of Satan would provide a xeroxed welcome package containing a welcome note, The 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth, The Nine Satanic Statements, an opinion that no other groups can possibly be Satanic, and maybe a few other sheets with information that the Devil’s church considered pertinent to new members.

But a few decades ago Satan thinks something must have gone askew in the printing process, because judging from the behavior of His church and its members, it seems that the headings of The 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth and The Nine Satanic Sins have been switched, making the Sins the new Rules, and vice versa. Satan is not certain where the Nine Satanic Statements went but they appear to have been replaced with the following document:

THE NINE SATANIC STATEMENTS

1. Satan represents pettiness, instead of ignoring that which you need not care about!
2. Satan represents bigoted attitudes, instead of appreciating common goals! 
3. Satan represents selective factoids, instead of honest study!
4. Satan represents self-righteousness, instead of giving credit where due!
5. Satan represents envious belittling, instead of doing something yourself!
6. Satan represents kindness to people whom you agree with, instead of respect for your betters!
7. Satan represents man as just another herd animal, never smarter, always more stupid than those who walk to the slaughter on all-fours, who, because he "joined the first organization" has become the most herd-minded of them all!
8. Satan represents committing all of the Satanic sins, as they all lead to smugness!
9. Satan represents your annoying uncle Arnold at the family reunion, because He keeps the discussion going about republican politics every year!

Satan thinks Easter is a display of schadenfreude and irresponsibility

Satan thinks that the celebration of Easter has one significant redeeming quality in spite of being a dedication to His mortal foe: by irrationally making its celebration date dependent on the Vernal Equinox and the lunar phase, it became necessary to devise a system for predicting the date so that normally functioning people could make plans. Hence, this most important computation of the age motivated significant advances in mathematics.

As any Christian who paid minimal attention to their mythology should be capable of informing you, Easter is the celebration that Jesus took upon him all the sins of Mankind and was executed to henceforth absolve all his future followers of their sins. Granted, one would think that Jesus would also have absolved his contemporary followers of their sins now he was at it, but historically speaking, these followers appear to have been a small Jewish cult who regarded themselves as the only true Jews and considered Jesus to be their king who would become the ruler of Judea within their lifetime. Presumably they received a quite different message when they saw their “king” nailed to a post like any other local nationalist who opposed the Roman regime. Satan personally has no problem with the death of Jesus, and would gladly have pushed him into the harbor and made it look like an accident. As far as Old Nick is concerned, Good Friday was the best.

By the Old Testament and its accompanying scripture, which was the Law, “sin” meant crime, and to be absolved of sin was to be pardoned of crime. Christians even today consider themselves to be sinners and thus “criminals” if not in a modern, legal sense then in the eyes of their god. So they consider themselves criminals, and what is Easter to them? It is a ceremony where, without a trace of guilt or regret, they pin their own crimes on Jesus and celebrate that he was tortured to death for them, rejoicing that they evaded judgment, penance, and repair for their wrongdoings.

The Devil is no stranger to backstabbing, arrangement of judicial murder, and passing of blame, and has no warm feelings for Jesus, but is nonetheless alarmed at this display of self-righteousness and disregard of responsibility that the Christian Easter festival represents. Satan can barely think of anything as irresponsible and filled with schadenfreude as the Christian celebration of Easter, and He thinks it speaks volumes about the character of Christian people.

Satan thinks belief in gods is counter-democratic

Gods are powerful beings that have the authority to define human value, to determine human rights, and to reward and punish any human decision. The gods stand above humans, and allow humans no influence; Man may pray for help and beg for mercy but cannot conclude or decide. Regardless of what humans choose, gods can overrule it. No human opinion stands above that of the gods. The gods always have the final say in human affairs.

Humans who believe in gods believe that the intentions of the gods outweigh human sentiments; they believe that any human opinion can be ignored or rejected because the views of the gods must be respected. And when the gods remain curiously silent, the clerical representatives of the gods will happily explain which of their personal opponents’ opinions should be overruled in favor of the gods—who conveniently always happen to agree with whatever their priests and followers want.

All gods are man-made but believers do not know this. In their self-centered world-view they also fail to recognize that the opinions of their gods are but their own opinions assigned divine authority. Satan wants His followers to be their own gods but it is instead believers who manage to play that role. With their God in their hands, they claim the right to ignore the opposing opinions of others regardless of majority. Should public support of a decision approved of by the believers wane, the believers will claim that their gods demands that it be sustained. And should support of their favored, elected leader falter, soon that leader will have been chosen by God.

Democracy, on the other hand, is for human beings. It is a principle that assigns one vote to each individual, all votes counting exactly the same regardless of individual power or value. No one has more voting power than anyone else. No vote can be overruled by someone else’s demand. Democracy suffers no god a vote because no god exists.

Of course, the Prince of Darkness is not overly fond of democracy Himself and is unsympathetic towards a system of government that grants voting power to stupid people. The only time in History he ever supported democracy was at an event about 2,000 years ago when the vast majority of a large crowd of Judeans voted for Jesus’ death sentence. Satan is the tyrant of Hell who rules His infernal realm with an iron fist and allows His tormented souls no rights.

Satan thinks that in the realm of humans, however, a mindset that surrenders any part of a decision-making process to a super-human entity is inherently counter-democratic as it strips humans of their human worth, human influence, and human rights, surrendering the power of the people to undeserving believers and their priests.

Satan thinks someone should ask His church some questions

My Master never attempts to manipulate the minds of His followers although certainly the worshipers of His opponent in the sky tell many exciting tales to the contrary when they flee from responsibility for their own actions. The Devil prefers to encourage His followers to pursue undefiled knowledge through critical thinking and to ask for clarification when they discover incongruity or inconsistency.

If the Devil were to take the role of an honestly curious and truth-seeking follower of His, first He would study before asking, of course, because there are in fact stupid questions. Then, having become familiar with key literature and having evaluated theory according to premise then theory against practice, presumably some questions would arise. The Prince of Darkness would never pretend to put words in the mouths of His followers, but had the Devil been a simple human being wishing to tread the Left Hand Path, He might have liked to receive answers to a few questions such as the following.

In The Satanic Bible, as well as in several other places, Anton LaVey explained that greater magic works by channeling one’s emotional energy into someone else’s mind, and he defends the necessity of rituals by referring to the Freudian model of pent-up emotions. Satan is intrigued by the justice-serving conception that undeserved “surplus” emotional energy in oneself could imaginably be balanced with a corresponding deficiency in a deserving target, but even at LaVey’s time the pressure-chamber model of emotional build-ups had long since been dismissed, and psychologists today warn that ritually or otherwise letting out the steam, as it were, in some mentalized decompression chamber to get pent-up emotions “out of your system” only reinforces the emotions. As for the ability to implant a thought into someone else’s mind using the powers of one’s own, it was still believed well up into the 1970es in certain scientific communities that one should at least not dismiss the possibility of mind control yet, and various armies spent vast amounts of research hours in the attempt. Today, however, this idea has also been entirely rejected. Satan thinks The Church of Satan should be asked whether they still believe in these explanations of Anton LaVey’s on how and why magic works. Satan also thinks The Church of Satan should be explained whether they truly believe there is some “karmic” repercussion to denying the power of magic as stated in the seventh rule of The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth.

Today’s insights from the scientific study of religions (not to be confused with theology) and religious people contradict Anton LaVey’s explanations of how religion functions in The Satanic Bible, and has quite different things to say about how religious people think and behave. This scientific field barely existed when Anton LaVey published The Satanic Bible, but now that better explanations have been found, Satan thinks The Church of Satan should be asked whether it prefers Anton LaVey’s misunderstandings to science.

In fact, an increasing number of elements in Anton LaVey’s writings have become, and are still becoming, outdated and many core observations are today downright contradicted by scientific advances. Satan thinks that The Church of Satan should be asked why it nonetheless considers any revision of Anton LaVey’s writings to be unnecessary, and perhaps in the same vein why Peter Gilmore’s book was added to the organization’s core scripture when, according to The Church of Satan, Anton LaVey provided everything a Satanist needs to know to understand Satanism.

Unbeknownst to most readers of The Satanic Bible and Anton LaVey’s other books, Mr. LaVey expressed vehement opposition to abortion, which he referred to as “murderous deeds” and “senseless annihilation of our unborn children” which would have “a disastrously demoralizing effect on our society” if it were legalized. Satan thinks The Church of Satan should be asked whether it still supports LaVey’s view on abortion.

The “LaVey Personality Synthesizer” of The Satanic Witch seems heavily inspired by William Sheldon’s somatotyping, which was soon dismissed as pseudo-science along with phrenology. Anton LaVey’s model of the core, demonic, and apparent selves was appropriated from Wilhelm Reich’s almost identical model which has never even been considered valid. The very foundation of The Satanic Witch is thus completely broken, and all of the recommendations for seeking out the mark’s “opposite” personality according to the mark’s position on the “clock” are are ill-founded. Satan thinks The Church of Satan should be asked whether it still believes in the principles of The Satanic Witch and their reason for “working.”

Speaking of The Satanic Witch, its premise was the reality of the pre-1970es Northern America where women were highly dependent on men. Today, women have much simpler options, and with significantly higher pay-off, than modifying their attractiveness as accessories to men. Satan thinks The Church of Satan should be asked if they believe the book is still relevant and, if so, why. Satan also thinks that The Church of Satan should be asked how a witch is supposed to manipulate her “quarry” once having gained its attention using the techniques of The Satanic Witch, because the Devil thinks that presumably that would be the most important part of being a witch.

The Church of Satan claims to be non-political. Nonetheless, Anton LaVey said that “[C]onservative organizations will (and already do) find Satanism far more compatible with their doctrines than they now think it to be,” meaning that The Church of Satan’s values are obviously conservative-leaning. Satan thinks The Church of Satan should be asked to explain how political compatibility with politically conservative organizations can be said to be non-political.

Often when someone identifies an issue in Anton LaVey’s scripture that is negated by modern knowledge, seems far-fetched, never seems to be practiced by The Church of Satan’s members, or is otherwise contradicted, the reply usually is that the Doctor was deliberately speaking with his tounge in his cheek. Satan thinks that since it is clearly not evident even to intelligent people when Anton LaVey was being serious, The Church of Satan should be asked which parts of Anton LaVey’s scripture are considered truths to be accepted and which parts are misleading, or at least be asked for instructions on how to distinguish.

There is little to no indication that Anton LaVey himself believed in the Devil, but he (Anton, not Old Nick) has proclaimed that: “many members of the Church of Satan who are mystically inclined prefer to think of Satan in a very real, anthropomorphic way. Of course we do not discourage this, because we realize that it is very important to many individuals to ritualistically conceptualize a well-wrought picture of their mentor or tutelary divinity.” The Prince of Darkness is sincerely flattered but thinks The Church of Satan should nonetheless be asked whether it still officially accepts, and consequently speaks for, proponents of a Christian world-view in which His existence is real.

The Church of Satan has begun to regularly emphasize that scholars of religion agree that the Church of Satan was the first organization to claim the name. Satan has a good idea of who these scholars might be and thinks that The Church of Satan should be asked to provide sources because they would enable students (who obey the Devil’s demand that they study not worship) to learn what else these scholars have to say about who is and is not a Satanic organization and what Satanism is and is not. Satan finds this particularly interesting because He remembers that The Church of Satan once published a memo to its members forbidding them to speak to the perhaps most knowledgeable scholars on Satanism (whom they referred to as “so-called” researchers, not acknowledging their very real authority as scholars in their field) because during their research they had spoken to other Satanic organizations.

The Prince of Darkness prefers to torment His damned souls according to our shortcomings and tips His hat at Anton LaVey’s similar requirement that members of The Church of Satan be anointed to titles reflecting their real world accomplishments. Satan is certain to find that His church be thus represented among the élite, and could imagine that an intelligent follower would ask His church to mention a handful of Satanists who, following the teachings of His church, have made nation-wide success rather than running a sandwich joint, becoming a stripper, or publishing some paperback with a few thousand readers. The Devil imagines that whoever were awarded the highest degrees in His church would be remarkable world leaders, and would ask His church for a few examples of world-dominating Satanic magistrates who moved the world beyond owning a tattoo parlor or a web shop selling sex toys.

Our Black Monarch could surely think of more questions but has no personal interest in any excuses or answers and expects His church to dismiss any questions inquiring for undefiled wisdom as shit-disturbance.

Satan thinks people are being bullied because they are weird

From an evolutionary perspective, herd confirmity is critical to social animals. In fact, even solitary animals must obey the “social” rules of their species, including rules that mandate getting killed and devoured by a fellow specimen.

If you deviated from the social norms in ancient times, your local peers would quickly inform you of your misstep with angry outbursts and often physical reminders intended to motivate correct behavior. Deviation was not called for; it usually implied life-threatening risks and deadly mistakes affecting the entire social group, and such is usually dealt harshly and swiftly with on an evolutionary scale: evolution requires change and adaptation, favoring those who possess a lucky fit to physical and social environments, but most evolutionary paths are short and dead-ended. Repeat offense tended to be punishable with death, where your socially conscientious group would rend you limb from limb or ostracize you and leave you to the futile odds of surviving on your own. Lex Talionis—the law of the jungle—stipulates that you either conform or die.

By the same token, physical deviance is perceived as a threat, too, for good reason: in Nature, if an animal looks like something is wrong, then usually something is wrong, and the unfortunate individual should immediately be prevented from contributing to the gene pool as a matter of precaution.

Mankind may consider itself to be highly evolved but Satan thinks Man is barely a late-generation ape whose apparent sophistication is skin deep. A long history of evolution and very basic rules of survival govern human behavior to a much larger extent than humans like to think. Such deeply rooted core behavior dominates, so as soon as a human grows old enough to decode primitive social situations, any sight of unnatural (meaning any eccentric or peculiar) behavior will prompt normal human children to use all forms of peer pressure involving chicanery, harrassment, exclusion, bullying, and violence to suppress the aberration. The specific methods usually become more refined and artful as the children grow older and into adults, but typically not much and least among less gifted individuals. Nonconformity is feared by any age group because unnaturalness awakens the primoridal terror of a threat to group survival.

Satan wishes to interject here that it is a common misconception that people who rise to the top broke the rules to get there. They did not; they are in fact highly conformant. Some successful businessman or leader may indeed seem to break all codes of conduct or deviate from classical methods but social expectations ask just that of a powerful individual, and he or she rose to the top only through satisfing the herd’s demand for conformity-enforcing products or opinions. Satan thinks that few things are as conformant as acting “nonconformantly” in accordance with a social role that is defined by the herd. To successfully deviate from the herd, you must deviate in a predefined fashion that everyone accepts.

There are individuals who cannot help being nonconformant, however. They may suffer from mental illnesses or personality disorders that prevent them from understanding or following social rules or even from perceiving the world in a manner that aids their survival. To a varying degree, their irregular behavior threaten the life-sustaining conformity and hence they deserve to be either taught to conform or be properly disposed of, sometimes for perfectly good reason if their deviant behavior is harmful to others. And so from an early onset in life they are bullied until they occupy a harmless role in their society and until they keep a proper distance to normal people. For matters of brevity (and possibly because my Master specifically asked me to avoid any mention of demonic possession in the context of mental illness), your disloyal demon points its dear readers to our esteemed denizen Mr. Foucault’s book: Madness and Civilization for a historical rundown of psychotherapeutic treatment. Focus must remain what Satan thinks, not how humans have historically addressed mental health.

The Devil does not wish to share His opinions on the moral aspects of bullying, nor will He discuss specific forms of deviance. He merely understands that it is innately human to bully outliers, and that being bullied is thus a litmus test for deviance. Some anomaly is easily identifiable—physical disability or deformity is obvious—but adults do not readily recognize that if a child is otherwise being bullied in school, then probably there is something wrong with that child from a normality perspective. Bullies may be forced to stop but Satan thinks that an important step to stop the bullying would be to locate the deviant behavior and its cause because an early diagnosis can change everything for the better for a person.

Satan thinks His followers should use goodwill accounts

In His dealings with His minions and followers, the Devil employs the simple strategy of tit for tat. Satan thinks that treating people exactly as they treat you is a surprisingly effective strategy for convincing them that you are evil incarnate. Moreover, it is a highly effective game-theory mechanism that outperforms virtually all contenders while also being the simplest of them all—although perhaps not as simple the strategy of always turning the other cheek which however suffers the severe drawback of being disastrously inferior to them all.

For the uninitiated, the tit for tat strategy means “equivalent retaliation” (although not desiring to wait for hostile action before taking revenge, the Devil often implements preemptive retaliation instead) where you replicate your opponent’s previous action: if your opponent was helpful, you cooperate whereas if your opponent was uncooperative, then so are you. The strategy becomes highly cooperative once your opponents follow (other) strategies involving cooperation as long as you stick to your tit for tat principles and begin with being cooperative in situations where you must take the initiative. This is not to say that Satan thinks you should strictly bother no-one and destroy them if they bother you. It means you should apply the Balance Factor when you reward or punish and tip the scales of Balance slightly by offering a gift in any initial move.

The simplicity of the tit for tat strategy avoids lengthy records and statistics of past behavior; it suffices to merely recall someone’s last action. But although Satan thinks that most people could easily be replaced with mindless automatons following simple scripts, real life is subject to somewhat more complicated rules than are usually set in game theory competitions. There are variably delayed rewards and punishments, drawbacks to some cooperative or punitive actions (you can only quit so many jobs in a short while until it damages your resume, for example), and people who play tit for tat but whose cooperation is harmful or vice versa, just to name a few issues.

In these modern days of lawyers, bankers, and accountants, Satan thinks His followers should think in terms of book-keeping. Relations with others—employers, spouses, strangers, groups—can be thought of as “transactions” on some checking account using “goodwill” as currency. Satan thinks that one should begin each relationship by opening a goodwill checking account and immediately deposit some amount of goodwill on it. The other party is then free to deposit or withdraw goodwill through his or her actions. You, on the other hand, behave as if your “opponent” (who is your collaborator in a mutual tit for tat arrangement), too, maintains a goodwill account, so make prudent withdrawals and deposits on their accounts as well, according to the tit for tat principle.

The key is to cut your losses and terminate the relationship once your goodwill account is overdrawn. The initial amount that you deposited serves as your initial “gift” to the other party and as a buffer amount that safeguards young relationships from minor misunderstandings. Never make an initial deposit worth more than you can afford to lose: invest too much, and you risk becoming prey to a psychic vampire who keeps drawing on your goodwill while giving very little in return.

Satan thinks He exists

Many of the Devil’s followers insist that there is no Devil, so Old Nick wishes to clear up some confusion about His infernal existence.

As you, dear reader, may already be aware, He prefers to stick to His greatest trick that He does not exist (cf. my fellow denizen Monsieur Charles Baudelaire) in spite of the demand it places on the human mind to explain the world through more complicated means. It was once so simple to know that the world was moved by gods and devils, who could be influenced through incantations, ceremonies, and rituals, but such superstition requires belief in demons and disregard of knowledge. Satan represents undefiled wisdom, and He wants Mankind to think for itself and know the Universe as it manifests itself, not through old wives’ tales of supernatural, usually anthropomorphized creatures with plans of their own.

Satan therefore keeps pretending He does not exist, thus deceiving gullible humans into trusting that the Universe, in its cold, impersonal darkness, contains all the questions and answers Mankind can imagine without requiring the addition of mythical varmint to the equations. This marvelous lie has already coerced humans into obtaining a firm grasp of a wide array of natural laws and principles, and scientists have obtained a reasonable understanding of matter and how the strong, the weak, and the electromagnetic forces and (at least for practical purposes) gravity affect it.

But none of the forces or laws of Nature indicate that, from a human point of view, life unfolds and evolves; they only demand ongoing change in the Universe. They describe change within so limited scopes that one cannot express connections between cause on the microscopic level and effect on the macroscopic level, or vice versa. The laws of Nature say little about the development of life; although humans have now learned how DNA replicates, how organisms reproduce and mutate, how organisms adapt and survive according to changing environments, and how they in turn change their environments, Satan thinks humans will never be capable of explaining which direction life will take except in highly general terms. Nor do the laws of Nature explain human emotions or reactions in spite of a good understanding of biochemistry, some neurological insight, etc.—or, rather, Satan thinks they do but the human brain is far too limited to manage the enormity of information and the countless interactions that come into play. There are not enough atoms on Earth to hold the knowledge required to provide the answers that Mankind seeks.

Natural forces and laws com­bined have an endless effect that seems much larger than their sum total, and there is no well-de­scribed natural law that can express this com­bined effect. Humans can merely state that the natural laws explain that things happen, and how phys­ic­al and chem­ic­al pro­cesses are fol­lowed, but they cannot de­scribe how life or the human per­cep­tion of life unfolds. It is this “su­per­set” of natural laws that defies sci­en­ti­f­ic description. Greater minds can be content with such an explanation, because they can relate well enough to the knowledge that science has gathered today to sense that the laws of the universe combine into a larger whole. They can stare into the eternal darkness in awe as they sense what can never be seen. Most people, however, require symbolic language to effectively communicate this greater whole, enabling people to intuitively grasp its immensity and general mechanisms. Humans have come to possess great un­der­stand­ing of the world around and within them, yet their sense of de­vel­op­ment and life—their desire to act and live, to be and to become—is not covered by this un­der­standing. Humans can still de­scribe such feel­ings only in sym­bol­ic terms.

My Master serves as such a symbol. Satan is change with no guidance, a perpetual pull towards Him, a motivation that follows its own, inner dark light. He represents both unordered dissolution and solidification into a balance that is found as chaos and order throughout Nature. He is the imbalance factor who breaks stasis and causes movement, steadily tipping the otherwise frozen scales of everything into balance only to upset balance elsewhere. He represents a pervasive force of a divine nature, but unlike the powers attributed to the usual gods it is a power that involves “evil” and destruction, and a power that is unconcerned with the well-being or the state of Cosmos. Satan symbolizes the gestalt of all natural laws acting simultaneously—the only way they can function. He is the dark force that pulls everything into Hell, if ever so slowly, as the Universe moves towards its eventual heat death. It is in this sense that Satan thinks that although from an objective point of view He may not exist, the human brain is hardwired to either know He does, by any name, or know less than mindless sheep.

Satan thinks moral people are untrustworthy

Satan’s preferred epistemological model of human knowledge is tabula rasa, because most humans preserve this state of mental blankness throughout their existence. What little primordial wisdom exists is systematically replaced with herd conformity and herd values through a process known as socialization. Little children, the hellspawn that they are, have an innate concept of justice and understand that exploiters and predators should be ostracized or overthrown; but through careful grooming they are taught to view sophisticated exploitation and oppression as socially desirable. They are taught to succumb to the undeserved power of trickery and brawns by a herd thus suppressed, learning to follow herd expectations: they become moral beings.

Some herd decisions may be advantageous for the continuation of the species but the Devil is satisfied with recognizing them all as man-made, not universal or divinely prescribed. They are the herd leading itself. Moral requirements are nothing but peer pressure to fit in, and Satan, had He not been morally disengaged to begin with, naturally disassociates Himself from all crowd self-control.

Satan does not mind seemingly moral arguments serving the self-interest of every individual. For example, blood or organ donations, tax payment, or similar society-level resource pooling can be regarded as either personal insurance or investment sharing, and the Devil tolerates a limited level of moralization on such issues against people who do not condone or grasp the obvious advantages of self-serving actions and are swayed by appeal to morality instead; Satan considers the latter a necessary white lie.

Satan abhors moralizing individuals who place themselves on a pedestal by example of their own moral superiority, however. Our Lord of Lies is unconcerned with the truth value of their claims, knowing that moralization and hypocrisy are lockstep conducts; it is the moralization He despises because it is empty posturing and an attempt to obtain unearned authority. Satan recommends that His followers never trust a person who claims to be right because he or she holds a higher moral ground than his or her opponents. Anyone that uses self-aggrandizement as the authority for truth and justice will treat you as an inferior with fewer rights once you inevitably have disagreements.

Satan thinks the Ninth Statement is a warning

A religion that preaches redemption from evil needs evil to be redeemed from, and a religion that sentences its stray sheep to Hell needs Hell. My Infernal Lord is therefore not surprised to be integral to Christian mythology, nor has He overlooked the fact that by His many names, countless other religions and ideologies have drawn upon His services to drive their droves into place and will continue to do so.

All it took for Mr. Hitler and his associates to convince their population to persecute the Jews was to draw pictures of them with little horns and claim that they were my master’s people. (My master asks me to mention that He nonetheless does not hold “Adolf,” as He said, entirely responsible for the Holocaust incident, as Mr. Hitler had merely followed up on the proposals of Martin Luther, the founder of Protestantism.) And a few decades ago, a president in the Western World who shall remain nameless, because we do not wish to speak the names of angels to be, needed only declare the Middle East to be the “axis of evil” and an enemy of his religion in order to launch a full scale war against a competitor to his family business.

Satan thinks the mechanism is a tad more general than being a manipulative, religious tool, however, because He finds it deeply rooted in the human brain. Any group—religious, political, social, or other—defines itself positively and negatively. The terms refer to what the ideology believes to contain and not to contain, and do not signify “good” or “bad” values. For example, atheism rejects the notion of gods, and although atheists consider this to be good (and Old Nick wholeheartedly agrees), it is a negative definition. A positive definition of atheism, had there been any, would describe what atheism adds rather than what it subtracts compared with other groups. The population of the USA would define itself positively (i.e., by what they are) by stating, e.g., that they are inhabitants of Northern America, and negatively (i.e., by what they are not) by assuring that part of their excellence involves not being Canadian.

Positive and negative definitions are often made-up. The positive definitions serve to reassure oneself of validity and greatness, or they are group goals, while negative definitions serve to both demark the limits of a group, and to be “inverse positives” which communicate that the group is the opposite of the negative definition. The Devil dryly notes that from his perspective, the latter is generally a statement of what the group merely wishes it wasn’t, because humans usually are as deplorable as they say they aren’t.

Human beings tend to converge on quite similar positive and negative definitions regardless of group identity, mainly because Man is a social animal and behaves accordingly. Human survival depends on everyone behaving mostly alike, and in societies, which all function mostly the same around the planet. Satan grants that there are trivial differences between groups such as geographically determined traditions regarding food or fashion, differently named gods and varying degrees between believing in literal or abstract deities, or different names for how governments universally enable the ruling class to exploit the less fortunate.

As social animals, humans need to belong to a group but its size is limited by the mental capacity of its members. Everyone outside of the group (which can be geographically far stretched in a highly connected world) is “the others” because the human brain can scope only the individual’s own group. Human identity is derived from their groups through the groups’ self-definitions: that which the group is and is not is what its members are and are not; defiance implies ostracism, which is the worst of all fears because in human evolution group rejection once spelled certain death.

Satan thinks that the stronger the need of an individual to feel the identity bestowed by his or her group, the more prone he or she is to concentrate on negative definitions, emphasizing how other groups are different or, equivalently, how his or her group is entirely unlike them. This is especially true when the groups seem similar, because at a deeply primal level the similarity creates the impression that the other group is a close contender to one’s own group, which might subsequently be overtaken and eliminated and oneself with it. Satan cares little whether the need to underscore one’s group at the expense of others arises from a self-inflated sense of significance which inspires people to contribute high importance to negative definitions, or whether it is the result of a mental capacity falling far below Dunbar’s number that requires less ambiguously defined group boundaries. He thinks that the strong need to defend one’s group is herd mentality regardless of cause, and the only important and perhaps counter-intuitive observation is that herd mentality compels an individual to identify strongly with narrowly and even binarily defined groups (by specific congregation, nationality, etc.) and aggressively dismiss its closer contenders rather than finding common ground. Herd mentality drives Europeans to fear the Middle East more than the Far East, and Western Satanic groups to be more spiteful against each other than even against the soup of Christianity that engulfs them all.

Your humble, and more often humbled and humiliated, narrator had wished to ask its master if the observation is really counter-intuitive, and whether not true individualism as opposed to herd mentality would obviously make someone both shrug off group conflicts and be capable of joining very large communities without feeling obliged to group-think. However, the Horned Almighty routinely punishes dumb questions with another turn on the rack, and yours unfaithful has decided to leave the answer blowing in the hot winds of Hell.

Satan thinks that the Ninth Statement should be taken as a warning not to be yet another friend of the Church through one’s actions and demeanor. When Satan observes one of His followers behaving according to Christian precepts about the Devil’s own, believing to be thus expected, He thinks the follower is a Christian who has no place wearing the Devil’s colors. It helps little if the follower does so knowingly in order to offend his or her haters. That requires no talent; true demonic skill lies in turning the haters’ invested emotions against themselves, perplexing them into dislodging their ideological conviction. Satan thinks that wishing, by one’s actions, to be the best friend the Church has ever had, the best option is: go to church.

And Satan thinks this warning should call for introspection, too, allowing the abyss to gaze back. His followers should avoid the herd mentality need to identify themselves so strongly with their own group that their use of other groups for negative definition turns disagreement into obsession. He recalls that one of his denizens, some Friedrich Nietzsche, once cautioned against becoming the monster you chase, and thinks that His followers, too, should avoid the temptation to allow their enemies—percived or real—a seat on His throne by casting them as the followers’ Devil in order to stay in business.