Satan thinks His statue should be removed

Satan is a proud being as the more popular legends detailing His fall can bespeak, and He was properly satisfied when He learned that His temple had erected a Baphomet monument in Detroit a few years ago. The Lord of Evil had hoped that the monument had been closer to Mr. Éliphas Lévi’s depiction instead of resembling a 3D-rendering of some cheap tarot card flipping but He understands that a display of His rod athrust and His feminine torso would provide His detractors will all the ammunition they needed in the puritan American society to censor the statue. So perhaps a loin cloth can be excused, and there are flat-chested women, too; the Devil is used to seeing religious idols pictured in a fashion that is suspiciously compliant with herd demands.

That said, the Prince of Darkness wishes the world rid of religion. Religious monuments should be demolished around the Earth, or at least be placed in museums to illustrate past delusions. Satan thinks that the last thing the world needs is yet another religion or religious marker, especially now that the Devil’s own religion has gained foothold. Before then, Satan was more favorably disposed towards the emergence of a new religion, of course, and prefers to explain His unabashed change of mind as having become wiser. Otherwise, humans endowed with the powers of perspective might have accused Him of having changed His mind only to prevent newcomers from stealing the picture, and such misconceptions must be neutralized: Satan would never be a hyprocite who allowed a church to be established in His name only to immediately become opposed to new religions or religous spin-offs and deny any new temples their rights to erect their altars. No, Satan thinks no new religions should be established and no new religious monuments should be raised, and He thinks that religious pluralism is just a euphemism for more ways to be stupid.

Satan nonetheless thinks His monument in Detroit is great. It requires real life muscle to challenge the crowd and win, and His temple’s monument is a testament of such strength. The monument reminds everyone who passes it that the prevalent religion is debatable and vulnerable and not the epitome of truth and power that some believe. Satan admits that this is vanity, however, and needs no reminders, well-intentioned as they might be, that He will defeat God in the end. His real appreciation arises from recognizing the monument for its strategic usefulness: it can be employed as a means to remove other religious monuments in places where religion has no place. Christians who like to have their Ten Commandments placed next to a legislative state building (obviously to lead the herd into attributing equal legitimacy to real law and the rules of divine madmen) find that they have two options: either they publicly demonstrate that they consider themselves above the law and have only the Baphomet statue removed, or they acknowledge defeat—the latter either by conceding to let Baphomet challenge their monopoly on values and ethics and have their religion put to the question while their own monuments stand, or by having the Baphomet statue and their own, antiquated symbols removed. Satan thinks it is worth using His monument as a tool to invoke counter-productive pride among Christians, who will hate the Baphomet so intensely that they will pay for its removal by removing their own. Satan attributes no magical powers to His religious idols and will happily see His monument in Detroit destroyed if it brings down other religious monuments with it.