Satan thinks confirmation bias is key

Confirmation bias is the cognitive tendency to see what one wishes to see and ignore the rest. It means one interprets, remembers, and searches for information that bolsters one’s beliefs, preconceptions, and prejudice. It ranges from interpreting ambiguity as supporting one’s position to overlooking or downright denying evidence to the contrary. Confirmation bias is the cause of poor decisions and systematic errors in both science, organizations, and international politics.

Anton LaVey is lauded for his large number of inspirations that he combined into what his organization describes as a novel and unique philosphy. There is no question that Anton LaVey was an avid reader; if in doubt, the bibliography of his 1971 book, The Satanic Witch, originally entitled The Compleat Witch, should convince anyone. Satanism might involve no innovative ideas or original insigts but Anton LaVey’s combination of elements of pre-existing ideologies and philosophies was new.

Satan demands study not worship, and it would seem reasonable to use Anton LaVey’s sources of inspiration as a starting point. And yet, it is a route traced by misleading paths where one must rigorously observe and apply the Balance Factor on a shaky ground of philosophical traps, unscientific foundations, and ideologically slippery slopes. Satan thinks that is incumbent on the eager student of the dark lore to always beware that Anton LaVey picked that from his sources which he liked and ignored everything else.

Anton LaVey later revealed to be aware of his cherry picking. For example, he explained in The Devil’s Notebook that he found the attempts to build “orgone accumulators” to be a fad that presumably one should steer clear of, and instead—with a direct reference to The Satanic Bible, so it should be considered important—pursue Wilhelm Reich’s cloudbusting hypothesis or his similarly hypothesised cancer biopathy. Lest any of you decide to follow his advice, Old Nick cautions that these works of Reich’s, too, were complete bunk. Wilhelm Reich should be honored for breaking somewhat free of Sigmund Freud’s paradigm, for being an early theorist of psychosomatics, and for describing mental illness as a phenomenon that may extend beyond the suffering of individual beings. And he should be remembered as an example of a suffering, pitiable madman who gained followers in pursuit of an unhinged dream founded on the yet unretired belief that the secret of human nature could be reduced to understanding particles. Satan cannot think for a moment that virtually any of Wilhelm Reich’s work deserves attention save his regrettably mostly unaccredited transition from Freudian mistakes toward modern psychology.

A more prominent example is without question Anton LaVey’s inclusion of the contents from several chapters of Might Is Right in “The Book of Satan” of The Satanic Bible. It was originally authored by Arthur Desmond using the pen name “Ragnar Redbeard,” and Anton LaVey wrote in his preface to the 1996 reprint that the book was a rant of glaring contradictions, leaving only a fraction of it suitable for The Satanic Bible, and this only for its inflammatory prose and evocative purpose, Anton LaVey claimed.

Satan could not agree more. Arthur Desmond was a failed politician with delusions of grandeur who kept getting into legal trouble and was eventually forced to flee from New Zealand. He came to America and settled in Chicago where he wrote the book. Might Is Right does not urge any specific ideology but rather argues that morality exists only in the human mind, that there is no such thing as “good,” and that there is no inherent benefit in being a good person or doing what is right. Arthur Desmond respected only those who were physically strong and could force others to do their bidding. The arguments went in all directions, however, often contradicting each other. There is no need to take Anton LaVey’s speculation that the author might have been Jack London seriously, because passages have later been recovered from Arthur Desmond’s early writings, and Jack London was just 14 years old when the first edition of Might Is Right was released anyway.

The elements that Anton LaVey plagiarized for The Satanic Bible are among the least senseless passages, and they serve their purpose as Satan’s long overdue retort against those who have slandered His name over the centuries. Satan thinks they also transmit the concept that morality is relative and a man-shaped idea that is subject to discussion and negotiation, without throwing the baby out with the bathwater by using Arthur Desmond’s original, preposterous arguments. (We shall ignore here that morality does in fact seem to extend beyond the human mind, because moral judgment and behavior, as humans understand it, have been observed among a variety of other species.) “The Book of Satan” thus channels the message that established sophisms and religious “truths” can go to Hell on their own banana peels and primes the reader for the new and superior morality of the Devil that follows in remainder of The Satanic Bible. Everything else in Might Is Right is useless.

Some level of condolence is usually implied when an author draws inspiration from a source but Satan thinks this does not apply in the case of Anton LaVey’s Satanism. Perhaps Anton LaVey was a pragmatist who cared little about the cause of magic as long as it worked, had little concern about the possible existence of the Devil as long as he felt he could draw on the powers of darkness, and ignored any political or other leanings of his sources if they otherwise managed to accidentally stumble upon something Anton LaVey considered true. In his many years of searching for the secrets behind magic, he would accept anything that he believed would work and discard the rest with a complete disregard of context.

This would describe a conscious application of confirmation bias where Anton LaVey deliberately ignored the context of his sources and placed them into a new one that cannot be derived from the original contexts—that is, Anton LaVey did not only combine hitherto unconnected ideas as mentioned earlier, he changed their meanings. The question, of course, is whether Anton LaVey was deliberately eclectic or was so vulnerable to confirmation bias that he was unaware of his suppression of contradicting evidence, non sequiturs, and broken causalities and his similar inclination towards hasty generalizations, false dichotomies, and strawmen. Satan thinks there are signs pointing in both directions and shall draw no conclusions on the matter.

Anton LaVey passed away decades ago, however, and Satan is more interested in how Anton LaVey’s devotees of today react to his one-sided selection of source material. The Devil has identified no Satanist who constructed a cloudbuster in spite of Anton LaVey’s recommendations on the pursuit of Wilhelm Reich’s “magic,” and speaking of magic, newer Church of Satan members have demoted magic to do-it-yourself coaching intended as mental self-help. Modern readers of The Satanic Bible focus on the elements that appeal to them and downplay or even ignore anything they cannot readily relate to, and thus remove themselves by yet another level beyond Anton LaVey’s removal from his inspirators.

Satan thinks there are two important lessons to be learned from confirmation bias both as Anton LaVey is concerned and as LaVey’s legacy is concerned. (Well, there are three lessons, but the thirds one is general advice on how to manage confirmation bias. Satan thinks this lesson should be taught by others.)

One lesson is a danger of confirmation bias: the instant hit of The Satanic Bible and the inclusion of the passages from Might Is Right sparked a renewed interest in the book, which had by then passed into obscurity. It was reprinted and soon discovered by right-wing extremists who appreciated its rampant racism, anti-Semitism, misogyny, and social Darwinism—all that Anton LaVey had omitted except some hints of social Darwinism which, in the strongly anti-Christian context of “The Book of Satan” and The Satanic Bible as such, should be taken as opposition against the alleged meekness of Christianity rather than necessarily a political statement.

Satan thinks it is unfair to accuse Anton LaVey of intentionally inviting neo-Nazis into his organization through the otherwise ideologically fueling literature. However, it takes an exceptional lack of perspective to overlook the obviously appealing effect on right-wing extremists by dedicating an entire section of The Satanic Bible to Might Is Right. Indeed, Michael Aquino’s book, The Church of Satan, reveals that Nazi associations with The Church of Satan began in the very year that Might Is Right came back in print. For good measure, Michael Aquino’s book also reveals that Anton LaVey was opposed to the connection between neo-Nazism and The Church of Satan. The Church of Satan went dormant a few years later, and when it resurfaced in the mid-1980s it soon became clear that members with more than spurious interest in Nazism had joined the organization and became ranking members. One could barely find a periodical or a magazine published by a Church of Satan member that was not littered with neo-Nazi imagery and other fascist references. Satan takes no issue with people who feel that the sun-symbol should be reclaimed and make occasional use of it among less tarnished symbols, but the “who are you kidding?” line is long crossed when they reach a seven-out-of-ten ratio of the topics of a magazine. These members were not merely loud. They constituted a disproportionally large part of the representative membership and appealed to more members of their likes.

Satan trusts that Anton LaVey did not desire this, but it is what happens when you quote an important inspiration a source who was primarily occupied with issues that you chose to ignore in your quest for what you wished to find. Satan thinks that the avid Satanic student who reads the book should learn to appreciate not only its value for The Satanic Bible but also its author’s biography and why the remainder that Anton LaVey omitted speaks to right-wing extremists instead, and especially that there are often unintended and sometimes severe consequences of confirmation bias.

The other lesson is that confirmation bias replaces potentially vital parts of a teaching with one’s own opinions, and because everyone changes their views more than they imagine or can even admit (because the brain believes it is consistent) throughout their lifetimes, one may render the original teaching washed-out to a homeopathic dilution. What remains is the person’s culturally inculcated values, the person’s political stance, probably some affinity for diabolic aesthetics, and other entirely personal opinions—and the person believes this to be the exact same Satanism that Anton LaVey defined.

Satan thinks that followers of the LaVeyan variety should mind Anton LaVey’s confirmation bias that governs his definition of Satanism and make calculated efforts to steer clear of all the hogwash and counter-productive instructions that plagued his grimoires, too. Satan thinks that if ever in doubt of where to strike the balance, one should make no attempt to learn further from said grimoires.

Satan does not require infernal fundamentalism, far from it. He only asks His followers to both be mindful of opinions that they may not be conscious of and to be mindful of the origin of their opinions. If they do not stem from the Devil, Satan thinks that the would-be follower may have accidentally submitted to a different master, one without horns and cloven hooves.

Satan thinks magic is for weak-minded people

Scholars of religion enjoy relating the story of an indigenous, coastal people which is strongly reliant on the gifts from the sea. They are a fishing people, and like any indigenous tribe, they believe in a variety of gods and demons. And like any indigenous tribe, they have been the target of study by anthropologists and other scientists.

Anthropologists noted that for the most part the tribe was relatively pragmatic regarding its mythical entities. The fishermen would perform their required rituals before setting off to the sea, and then while they sailed close to the shore, the navigated according to visible landmarks and the stars. A peculiar thing would happen if the fishermen became trapped at sea in a storm or lost sight of land, however: instead of leaning on rational attempts to find their bearings, they instead began to perform magical rituals and implore the gods to save them and the demons of the sea to spare them. They did probably the last thing a sensible person would do in a time of crisis.

Satan does consider their behavior to be immensely silly but hesitates to attribute it to the generally lacking knowledge of primitive peoples. After all, when good Christians from developed countries find themselves on a plane that has engine trouble, they begin to pray instead of locating the nearest emergency exit, finding the life-jacket if above sea, re-reading the safety pamphlet in front of them, and paying careful attention to the cabin crew. As tempting as it may be, the Devil does not attribute their behavior to stupidity either, because religious people are otherwise as intelligent as normal people. Poor intelligence would have manifested itself in many other unfavorable and readily observable forms in addition to religious behavior and belief. Old Nick asks His followers to understand that they are barking up the wrong tree when they explain superstition as mere stupidity.

The odd behavior of our fellow tribal fishermen is not intended to solve a precarious situation but to feel in control. Psychologists have coined the term “locus of control,” meaning the degree to which an individual believes to be in control of events in his or her life as opposed to believing to be at the mercy of external forces. When lost at sea or on a crashing plane, it is not difficult to understand that one is prone to realizing that the outcome is determined by forces beyond one’s control. When the locus (the “perceived location”) of control becomes external, your brain is prone to persuading you to regain control by appealing to those same external forces instead of relying on your own ability to manage the situation.

Locus of control is a key component of depression, along with some other psychological models, because part of the depressive spiral is the conviction that everything is hopeless: there is nothing you can do, and no-one can help you. Satan thinks this insight helps explain why, statistically, believers are less prone to depression than atheists, because by creating an illusion of control through prayer, belief, and other ritualistic or ceremonial behavior, believers have a method—a pipe dream as it may be—that makes them feel better because they believe they have (some) control of the uncontrollable.

The desire to resort to magic is thus prompted by a feeling of being powerless. Satan finds this to be an interesting observation regarding those of His followers who insist that magic is real and who feel compelled to perform magic rituals. Satan is convinced that these followers keenly feel that they have very little power in the real world if they truly believe that magic works and thus warrants their time and effort above tangible action and honest work. My Master spoke briefly with Anton LaVey, who mentioned the Balance Factor as a yardstick for one’s magical potential. He reportedly said that if one’s real world powers are limited then one’s magical success will be equally limited, but the Devil thinks His followers are unaware of this correspondence.

“Please do not get this wrong,” says my Master of All Things Evil. Satan does not mind rituals at all, especially not when He is summoned to a particularly lively performance. Rituals, regardless of religion, are intentionally “irrational” and employ mythical settings that one pretends to believe in—and, with some practice, can honestly believe in—during the performance of the ritual. Then afterwards the participants should preferably regain their mental bearings and be fully aware that the magical workings were complete bunk that has no effect on anything but the participants’ mindsets. It is only if a participant still afterwards believes that the magic worked that Satan thinks the participant should have his or her mind checked. In that sense, Satan agrees with the seventh of the “11 Satanic Rules of the Earth” which proclaims that you will lose all you have obtained if you deny the power of magic that you have called upon with success: you will lose your illusion of being in control and will have to come back to the verity of the real world.

Satan thinks His followers dress funny

Satan’s key observation about hipsters is that they prove a generic human trait: whenever humans achieve the freedom to be individuals, they use it to imitate each other. In an attempt to look unique and uninfluenced by fashion, hipsters look to each other for inspiration and eventually all look the same. It is this trait that makes Satan think of His followers as hipsters: they wish to stand out from the herd’s expectations but habitually become involuntary stereotypes for that very reason. Satan has observed that with some venerable exceptions, His followers occupy three categories when they choose their outfits:

1. The heavy metal dude with a pitiable body dressed with prominent pentagrams and inverted crosses, complemented with illegible band name tee shirts. Studded leather boots that would fit a slightly homo-erotically–appealing villain of a medieval-times TV series also seem popular. All of it except the band name and image was black before being worn and fortunately washed too many times. Satan counts his blessings (or curses) that they grew up without knowing what the heavy metal icons of the 1980es looked like and attempted to imitate them instead.

2. The pretentiously overdressed snob who attempts to impress others, who watch overbearingly while the pretender impresses only himself or herself and possible a few fellow followers. The Devil hands this follower that at least he or she managed to grasp a few basics about lesser magic and the need to stand out from the herd but wishes that they would observe the Balance Factor. At least they seem to be learning that looking like Anton LaVey is growing out of fashion. Satan cannot tell if the memory of Mr. LaVey is fading or if the general population today now simply shrugs at a shaved head and a goatee, and is mostly relieved that fewer of His followers make the attempt without having the skull—both literally and figuratively—to imitate the old Doctor. He cringes at the thought that His followers might instead one day look to Peter Gilmore, LaVey’s successor in His church, resulting in a horde of eyebrows combed upwards and a tendency towards overweight, but rather than hoping Peter Gilmore will one day recall his own opinion about Michael Aquino’s shaved eyebrows two decades ago, the Devil takes solace in knowing that Peter Gilmore’s meager charisma will inspire few people to imitate his physical appearance.

3. The person who has lost perspective and only recalls that he or she is a Satanist when the Devil is occasionally mentioned and otherwise behaves and thinks and dresses entirely like everyone else. The wardrobe reflects the similarity with others.

The Devil swears by nine parts respectability to one part outrage in accordance with the Balance Factor. Not eight parts that scream loser to two parts 1990es movie, not seven parts respectability to three parts empty posturing, and not ten full parts of mediocrity.

Satan thinks His followers should use goodwill accounts

In His dealings with His minions and followers, the Devil employs the simple strategy of tit for tat. Satan thinks that treating people exactly as they treat you is a surprisingly effective strategy for convincing them that you are evil incarnate. Moreover, it is a highly effective game-theory mechanism that outperforms virtually all contenders while also being the simplest of them all—although perhaps not as simple the strategy of always turning the other cheek which however suffers the severe drawback of being disastrously inferior to them all.

For the uninitiated, the tit for tat strategy means “equivalent retaliation” (although not desiring to wait for hostile action before taking revenge, the Devil often implements preemptive retaliation instead) where you replicate your opponent’s previous action: if your opponent was helpful, you cooperate whereas if your opponent was uncooperative, then so are you. The strategy becomes highly cooperative once your opponents follow (other) strategies involving cooperation as long as you stick to your tit for tat principles and begin with being cooperative in situations where you must take the initiative. This is not to say that Satan thinks you should strictly bother no-one and destroy them if they bother you. It means you should apply the Balance Factor when you reward or punish and tip the scales of Balance slightly by offering a gift in any initial move.

The simplicity of the tit for tat strategy avoids lengthy records and statistics of past behavior; it suffices to merely recall someone’s last action. But although Satan thinks that most people could easily be replaced with mindless automatons following simple scripts, real life is subject to somewhat more complicated rules than are usually set in game theory competitions. There are variably delayed rewards and punishments, drawbacks to some cooperative or punitive actions (you can only quit so many jobs in a short while until it damages your resume, for example), and people who play tit for tat but whose cooperation is harmful or vice versa, just to name a few issues.

In these modern days of lawyers, bankers, and accountants, Satan thinks His followers should think in terms of book-keeping. Relations with others—employers, spouses, strangers, groups—can be thought of as “transactions” on some checking account using “goodwill” as currency. Satan thinks that one should begin each relationship by opening a goodwill checking account and immediately deposit some amount of goodwill on it. The other party is then free to deposit or withdraw goodwill through his or her actions. You, on the other hand, behave as if your “opponent” (who is your collaborator in a mutual tit for tat arrangement), too, maintains a goodwill account, so make prudent withdrawals and deposits on their accounts as well, according to the tit for tat principle.

The key is to cut your losses and terminate the relationship once your goodwill account is overdrawn. The initial amount that you deposited serves as your initial “gift” to the other party and as a buffer amount that safeguards young relationships from minor misunderstandings. Never make an initial deposit worth more than you can afford to lose: invest too much, and you risk becoming prey to a psychic vampire who keeps drawing on your goodwill while giving very little in return.

Satan thinks He exists

Many of the Devil’s followers insist that there is no Devil, so Old Nick wishes to clear up some confusion about His infernal existence.

As you, dear reader, may already be aware, He prefers to stick to His greatest trick that He does not exist (cf. my fellow denizen Monsieur Charles Baudelaire) in spite of the demand it places on the human mind to explain the world through more complicated means. It was once so simple to know that the world was moved by gods and devils, who could be influenced through incantations, ceremonies, and rituals, but such superstition requires belief in demons and disregard of knowledge. Satan represents undefiled wisdom, and He wants Mankind to think for itself and know the Universe as it manifests itself, not through old wives’ tales of supernatural, usually anthropomorphized creatures with plans of their own.

Satan therefore keeps pretending He does not exist, thus deceiving gullible humans into trusting that the Universe, in its cold, impersonal darkness, contains all the questions and answers Mankind can imagine without requiring the addition of mythical varmint to the equations. This marvelous lie has already coerced humans into obtaining a firm grasp of a wide array of natural laws and principles, and scientists have obtained a reasonable understanding of matter and how the strong, the weak, and the electromagnetic forces and (at least for practical purposes) gravity affect it.

But none of the forces or laws of Nature indicate that, from a human point of view, life unfolds and evolves; they only demand ongoing change in the Universe. They describe change within so limited scopes that one cannot express connections between cause on the microscopic level and effect on the macroscopic level, or vice versa. The laws of Nature say little about the development of life; although humans have now learned how DNA replicates, how organisms reproduce and mutate, how organisms adapt and survive according to changing environments, and how they in turn change their environments, Satan thinks humans will never be capable of explaining which direction life will take except in highly general terms. Nor do the laws of Nature explain human emotions or reactions in spite of a good understanding of biochemistry, some neurological insight, etc.—or, rather, Satan thinks they do but the human brain is far too limited to manage the enormity of information and the countless interactions that come into play. There are not enough atoms on Earth to hold the knowledge required to provide the answers that Mankind seeks.

Natural forces and laws com­bined have an endless effect that seems much larger than their sum total, and there is no well-de­scribed natural law that can express this com­bined effect. Humans can merely state that the natural laws explain that things happen, and how phys­ic­al and chem­ic­al pro­cesses are fol­lowed, but they cannot de­scribe how life or the human per­cep­tion of life unfolds. It is this “su­per­set” of natural laws that defies sci­en­ti­f­ic description. Greater minds can be content with such an explanation, because they can relate well enough to the knowledge that science has gathered today to sense that the laws of the universe combine into a larger whole. They can stare into the eternal darkness in awe as they sense what can never be seen. Most people, however, require symbolic language to effectively communicate this greater whole, enabling people to intuitively grasp its immensity and general mechanisms. Humans have come to possess great un­der­stand­ing of the world around and within them, yet their sense of de­vel­op­ment and life—their desire to act and live, to be and to become—is not covered by this un­der­standing. Humans can still de­scribe such feel­ings only in sym­bol­ic terms.

My Master serves as such a symbol. Satan is change with no guidance, a perpetual pull towards Him, a motivation that follows its own, inner dark light. He represents both unordered dissolution and solidification into a balance that is found as chaos and order throughout Nature. He is the imbalance factor who breaks stasis and causes movement, steadily tipping the otherwise frozen scales of everything into balance only to upset balance elsewhere. He represents a pervasive force of a divine nature, but unlike the powers attributed to the usual gods it is a power that involves “evil” and destruction, and a power that is unconcerned with the well-being or the state of Cosmos. Satan symbolizes the gestalt of all natural laws acting simultaneously—the only way they can function. He is the dark force that pulls everything into Hell, if ever so slowly, as the Universe moves towards its eventual heat death. It is in this sense that Satan thinks that although from an objective point of view He may not exist, the human brain is hardwired to either know He does, by any name, or know less than mindless sheep.

Satan thinks His followers have silly names

My fellow denizen Mr. LaVey recommended changing one’s name as needed as an application of lesser magic, and provided a list of useful names in The Satanic Witch. The Devil’s followers have certainly taken it to heart, and the Devil marvels at the enthusiasm of His followers who are so intent on selecting impressive names that awkward (or perhaps ironic) moments occur when nobody believes its authenticity once a person uses his or her given name because it sounds somehow noteworthy. Satan tips His hat at Anton LaVey’s recognition of the manipulative power of a well-chosen name but thinks His followers should perhaps consider their goals and their cultures, and also their own character, a little better.

Mr. LaVey lived in a culture where authors and artists habitally use pen names and aliases, and few people in the United States would bat an eye if they learned that someone prefers another name. Americans take mostly favorably to people altering their lives or dispositions and will readily allow a person the benefit of doubt. The same person might receive undesired reactions elsewhere, however; Europeans, who generally demand a broader spectrum of impressive features than the relative superficiality of a name, are often slower to trust first impressions than Americans and would consider him or her a clown. What may impress a Midwestern redneck could be the very thing that enables a Norwegian to recognize a self-inflated buffoon when he sees one â€¦ or worse, because the European mind is historically accustomed to thinking in terms of swift disposal rather than respect when confronted with a person named “Ruthless” or similar.

Even so, names are strongly determined by short-lived fashion, and the names that Anton LaVey listed in his decades-old book convey different sentiments today. Their application in lesser magic no longer applies, and any modern witch worth her salt would be wise to study the herd’s fashion statements and learn some new names. That is, the names made sense when the book was released, but unless our witch genuinely wishes to remind her quarry of his or her grandparents’ generation by selecting among outmoded names, the list of names is now just silly. Satan actually thinks the entire book has become outdated, because few of the many indicators of a person’s position on the “LaVey personality synthesizer” are still observable; the very principle of the synthesizer is based on pseudo-scientific bunk; and women no longer must rely on manipulating men in order to get ahead.

If the primary goal of the prospective witch or warlock is to ingratiate herself or himself with other followers of Satan, recognition as a witch being more important than magical acumen, the name should obviously appeal to the Devil’s other followers. This is straight-forward thanks to Anton LaVey, whose mandate derived entirely from his being the proto-Satanist (i.e., his authority rested on him being a Satanist by example) and hence role model: a witch yearning for peer recognition needs only appeal to LaVey’s fascinations, because they are compulsively imitated by his idolizers. To apply lesser magic, this observation spells—if you will excuse the pun—a combination of a burlesque attitude with some excess body fat, some slightly morbid pastimes, and a name that resurrects either Jayne Mansfield or Marylin Monroe. Everyone outside of Satanism thinks that the 1940es are History, and burlesque shows with them, however, and are utterly unimpressed and thus immune against such sneaky witchcraft.

The Devil begs His followers to learn that the Balance Factor makes everyone know intuitively that the choice of a pompous name is typically counterbalanced with correspondingly personal shallowness. The Devil had made up a few ludicrously exaggerated examples to illustrate His point and conscientiously did a web search to avoid accidentally targeting real people, only to find proof that, regrettably, reality exceeds His imagination. Satan thinks there are just too many Marylins, Daimons, Luci-somethings, Dracos, Wolves, Sades, Ravens, Mansfields, Liliths, cliché novel characters (oh, another Dorian Gray?), and any variety of names inferring violence. Satan believes that such contrived names only highlight that kings always beget kings and slaves always beget slaves, and that no name makes the king.

Satan thinks His Bible has two secrets

It has been over twenty years since Anton LaVey reminded the Devil’s followers that every grimoire has a secret, the remainder being mere padding that is inspirational at best if the secret is overlooked. Satan already knew that the secret of The Satanic Bible was the Balance Factor, the dark force in Nature, of course, but He figures it was a good idea of Anton LaVey to mention it, especially because everyone seems to have missed it to the degree of passionately intending to prove it wrong.

What Mr. LaVey did not tell my Evil Master’s followers is that another dark secret lurks within the pages of The Satanic Bible, a secret that has less to do with Satanism than with organizing and controlling the herd, making it a truly magical book. It is, perhaps ironically, a section that Mr. LaVey himself did not write and which the astute reader of The Satanic Bible may have noticed has changed between published editions. In addition to the price tag, that is.

The Satanic Bible contained an introduction by Burton H. Wolfe which was used in the 1969-1972 edition and in a revised version in the 1976-2005 edition when, for obvious reasons true to Orwellian standards of historical revisionism, Michael Aquino’s 1972-1976 introduction was removed by The Church of Satan‘s Ministry of Truth and henceforth not mentioned. The current edition of 2005- includes an introduction by Peter Gilmore. As you have probably realized by now, Satan thinks the second secret of The Satanic Bible is indeed its introduction.

Our Dark Lord realizes that His followers are often not the reading kind so He asks this subdued demon of yours to explain. Most introductions provide a review or a recommendation, an historical outline, perspective, or background. The introductions to The Satanic Bible do this to some degree, but all versions—least in Mr. Aquino’s version and most in Mr. Gilmore’s version—focus on the remarkable life of Anton LaVey. The introductions reveal that Anton LaVey was a carnival showman whose street smarts outperformed any businessman and whose observant eye of a con artist beat any psychologist. Working in forbidden careers, he saw the hidden truths of human nature and learned the secrets of mankind. He learned what could not be taught. He was a Satanist by example, the proto-Satanist that future Satanists would all measure up against.

At least that is what the introductions purport. The Devil would never wish to belittle our esteemed fellow denizen but in colder blood, Mr. LaVey was a school drop-out who never held a real job and huddled his way through life, was supported by his parents, never received an education, and eventually died in poverty, failing to be the embodiment of magical power that he is made out to be. He was a colorful figure in the brief, early heydays of The Church of Satan, but his days of glory lasted only few years. Now, Satan would like to emphasize that this is meant only to put things into perspective. The Prince of Darkness truly has the fondest feelings for Mr. LaVey, whom He believes was a grand person who deserved much better than he was granted in life, and the Devil wishes everyone to understand that in spite of LaVey’s failure to demonstrate an ability to practice as he preached, as it were, the road to Hell is in fact paved with good intentions, and Anton LaVey proudly walked down that road in the end. The Devil thinks that often it is genius that merely points the direction, and He does not require genius to also walk the talk: Maxwell never understood the implications of his equations, and Mozart received a pauper’s funeral. Satan fully acknowledges Anton LaVey’s contributions without requiring a convincing demonstration on his part.

This is all good or bad, depending on perspective, so let me, the Devil’s servant, explain the secret: the introduction serves to establish Anton LaVey’s authority as someone who could legitimately define Satanism. Anton LaVey was intelligent but he was no scholar who could draw on academic training and had no experience in scientific method and formal research; any scientifically trained eye can see this in how he argued and drew conclusions. He could not refer to any predecessor. He could not call on the blessings of a Devil that he did not believe in. In fact, he had no claim to authority at all and was forced to concoct a charming story to make himself seem interesting enough to warrant attention because all else would fail. Hence, he embellished his life story, omitting mistakes here and adding desirables there, turning a personal interest in music into an orchestral career and transforming a fascination with the Police into a formal employment in its grimmer departments. Borrowing feathers is one of the oldest tricks in the book on lesser magic, and it still works wonders: lacking all authority, Anton LaVey manufactured the story that he was a Satanist by example, thus making him worth paying attention to. He faked his resume to obtain an infernal mandate, and the The Lord of Lies granted it as an indisputable formality.

Some of Satan’s followers read the introduction of The Satanic Bible and nodded charitably when they effortlessly called Anton LaVey’s bluff, but they kept an open mind and were for the most part pleasantly surprised by Anton LaVey’s opinions and reflections and pardoned him his oversights, excessive generalizations, contradictions, and unintentional ambiguities throughout the book, just like they found his many tounge-in-cheek statements to be an enjoyable read. Depending on their education, they might have recognized that he lacked the necessary tools which a formal education would have provided him with and were able to fill in the blanks, read between the lines, and decide what to keep and what to discard. Satan thinks it is probably these readers who could discern between the truths and the lies in the book that Anton LaVey cautioned against in his preface, and who discovered the first secret of The Satanic Bible on their own.

Other followers read the introduction and were deeply fascinated with Anton LaVey to the point of describing him as the father they never had. Satan thinks that these people were rather had by Mr. LaVey instead. They judged the contents of The Satanic Bible not on the merits of thought but by their fascination with Anton LaVey’s made-up persona. They are a fan club, personality cultists, and herd matter. The more power to Anton LaVey, says Satan, and does not wish to share his thoughts about these followers.

Those who saw right through the yarns spun by Anton LaVey did not lose respect for him, mind you. Satan thinks they are probably accomplished magicians who recognized another warlock, just like a shrewd negotiator appreciates the skills of a bargaining colleague, and they smile wryly at the LaVey fan club knowing that one sorceror can bewitch the other.

Yet, the importance of Anton LaVey’s biographical narrative cannot be overstated, because it provides The Church of Satan with its only authority as an arbiter of the meaning of Satanism. The organization owns The Satanic Bible as its only authoritative document, and in turn its authority rests on its author possessing the authority to define Satanism, leaving The Church of Satan deeply dependent on Anton LaVey’s charisma; he is practically synonymous with The Church of Satan. Any erosion of Anton LaVey’s authority weakens the organization, and it is the reason why so many detractors of The Church of Satan target Anton LaVey when they attack the organization. It explains why Nicholas and Zeena Schreck, then in the Temple of Set, compiled their infamous “truth and legend” document about Anton LaVey: the document served to harm The Church of Satan by proxy by undermining Anton LaVey’s authority by sabotaging his narrative. Michael Aquino had claimed that the Devil had revoked Anton LaVey’s infernal mandate and in some sense, Mr. Schreck’s and Ms. LaVey’s document helped revoke the infernal mandate that Anton LaVey’ narrative had provided. Some of the statements in the document are merely accusational but a significant number of them are convincing, and Peter Gilmore, in his introduction to The Satanic Bible, found it incumbent on him to counter with an explanation that the list has some merit but did not overall dismantle Anton LaVey’s being a Satanist by example—his authority still being critically required.

The Church of Satan stresses that it is not the person but his teachings that should be considered, but Anton LaVey’s charisma permeated The Church of Satan from the very beginning and still lingers. One needs only visit its web site or listen to any interview to understand the importance of Anton Lavey’s continued presence in the organization. Satan realizes how this is going to sound, but He thinks it is always LaVey this and LaVey that, and wishes that His followers would think a little of Him, too. In 2018, Church of Satan aesthetics is still thoroughly inspired by Anton LaVey’s pre-1960es imagery, music, and standards of beauty, with everyone attempting to satisfy Anton LaVey’s personal taste as he described it. Peer recognition in The Church of Satan is gained through compliance with Anton LaVey’s showmanship genres: writing, painting, constructing dolls or sculptures, hosting some radio channel, playing music, etc. (sometimes even skillfully) but rarely by demonstrating accomplishments in the cerebral areas of teaching, scientific research and publishing, etc. that are outside of Anton LaVey’s demographic background. Intellectual display is still limited to the level of Anton LaVey’s unlearned reading which separates the cocksure student from those who know. The Devil doesn’t mind such lowbrow activites at all but would like to remind His followers that while such tactics have directed the decisions of which tavern to visit for a drink and a brawl, History is changed by magicians who are not stuck in the early last century.